Business

Business jokes

If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple 'thank you' is all I need.

Not all this 'How did you get in my house?' business.

Q. What did the United Healthcare CEO say after he got shot? A. I don't know. I don't own a Ouija board.

Having survived a severe injury in my past, I'm kind of glad paramedics didn't succeed in bringing the United Healthcare CEO back.

I was suffering so bad I got delirious and thought that the nurses were putting poison in my water cup.

That CEO was so hated that one of the nurses probably WOULD have slipped him something!

Q: What was the last thing the United Healthcare CEO heard before he got shot?

A: "It's me, Luigi!"

Q: What's the difference between a CEO and a beer can?

A: Beer cans don't bleed when they get shot.

Q. What's the difference between a Kevlar vest and a CEO?

A. The CEO isn't bulletproof.

What's the difference between Taco Bell and KFC?

KFC doesn't have Border Patrol agents surrounding all of its buildings right now.

I "onerie," or however you spell it, I like to replace all romance or similar memes with duck memes. Just comment duck memes there and change Valentine's Day to Duck Day. Also, for the joke:

Why did the duck walk up to the lemonade stand?

Because he wanted grapes.

I don't fuck my mother all day long. I fuck my mother for only 6 hours a day. Sometimes it's 7-8 hours. It depends on how busy my siblings and father are with their work.

My cousin just broke up with his girlfriend, and I told him, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of her stuff."

My cousin just broke up with her boyfriend, and I told her, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of his stuff."

Why did the telemarketer cross the road?

I don't know.

I don't know either, but I hope there was a car coming.

What did Warner Brothers get for making that horrible Joker sequel?

They got what they fucking deserved!!!!!!!!