They said time heals all wounds, well, I broke your watch.
Chuck Norris once stepped on a Lego.
The Lego broke in half.
My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday. I asked her why. She said, "Because you're a pedophile." I replied, "Pedophile! That's a big word for an eight year old."
Let me tell you a story.
There once was a bro who constantly choked on chodes.
He didn't want his bros to ever know that he constantly choked on chodes.
He lived in a dorm, and all day he watched porn, but still he would suck on some corn.
One day he would go to choke on some tasty chode, but his bros found out, gave him a shout, and kicked him out yelling that he broke the bro code.
My pencil sharpener broke, so now my pencil is pointless.
A doctor fell into a well and broke his collarbone.
The doctor should attend the sick and leave the well alone!
My dishwasher is broke.
What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?
It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!
My girlfriend broke up with me because of my pasta fetish.
I'm feeling cannelloni right now.
Did you hear on the news that a midget psychic broke out of jail?
There is a small medium at large.
Why did the man walk into a bar?
Because he just broke up and he needs alcohol, you dummy!
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.
But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.
What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?
It was given two consecutive sentences.
