Circus jokes

I was kidnapped by mimes once. They did unspeakable things to me.

Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester!

Most people are scared of clowns. That's why everyone runs away from you.

I'm starting a clown shoe store.

It's no small feat! :oD

What is big and bouncy and walks on stilts?

Yo mama is so fat that when she walks, she causes earthquakes. She is so big that she has her own zip code and gravity field. She is so heavy that she needs a crane to get out of bed. She is so obese that she can't fit in any clothes, except for a circus tent. She is so large that she blocks the sun and causes eclipses.

Why was the clown sad?

He broke his funny bone. PS: "funny bone" is not actually a bone.

Q: Why do clowns always get into fights?

A: Because they have the balls to.

What do you do if you're ever attacked by a gang of clowns?

Go for the juggler!

It’s not rape if she’s a dead bear and I lost my job at the circus.

Why did the shark spit out the clown?

Because he tasted funny!

My aunt worked as a human cannonball.

I'm not sure if she was good at it until she got fired.

Son: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?

Dad: Don't know, why?

Son: Because they taste funny.

A clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice jester.

Why was the emo kicked out of the circus?

Because he was cutting in line!

How do you get a clown off your swing?

You shoot it.

I’m a clown...

And everyone knows.

The tent pole is up, The canvas is spread, The hell with breakfast, Come back to bed.

Take the tent pole down, Put the canvas away, The monkey had a hemorrhage, No circus today.

What is more fun than spinning a clown around on a clothes line at 100 miles an hour?

Stopping it with a pitchfork.

What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly a clown into the tiny car.