Broke jokes

How do you know if an Asian has broken into your house?

Your dog is gone. ;)

The last thing I told my ex after we broke up was, "At least we're still cousins!" 😂

I had a boyfriend once. He broke up with me because he "wanted to be more alive." I guess it didn't work when he went to my basement.

Jake had sex and broke her hymen, guess he’s Jake the ripper.

My mom told me she couldn't open the garage door. Then it opened up to me that it wasn't broke anymore.

Where did Stephen Hawking go when he broke his leg?

Hospital or Currys PC World?

I entered Kian's house. At the top of the stair, I was greeted by my greatest fantasy, JOHN. He said in a manly tone, "Hello there." I walked slowly up the stairs and greeted him back. As I walked past his room, I felt uneasy. I walked into Kian's room to find no one. I turned around and gasped. John is standing there, a bulge had appeared and poked me as he got nearer. He pushed me onto Kian's bed. The bed was that bad it broke as I fell onto it. John says, "A broken bed is nothing to worry about." I look up at him in disbelief, he's more masculine than I thought. He thrust himself onto me, his crotch area sticky to the touch. He then ripped a fart as he bent over, at this point I knew it was too late John, the fart he ripped (sticky to the touch) had me so in shock I wasn't ready for what was next, he picked and jumped on my head ripping the most monstrous, enormous, deadly, sticky to the touch fart I'd ever seen, it knocked me out. I awoke to find I was in the WALLS. I looked out to find I was in the glory hole, my worst nightmare had become reality, I fully understood my purpose in life was to the holy glory hole, I heard "GRANDAD CAN I GET SOME V-BUCK" I then knew I was in for some Kian treats.

The end

Stephen Hawking is as broke as his legs.

I was in a public bathroom in a handicap stall, and when I got out, a handicapped man told me that I was an a**hole. I told him, "Bet you won't stand up and say that to my face," and then he broke down.

Why did Susie get cut from the soccer team? She has no legs!

Who broke into my house by kicking down my door? Not Susie... But she still is in my basement, since she can't run!

Your mom walked into a bar and broke all the furniture.

A little boy and a little girl are taking a bath together. The little girl looks down at the boy and says, "Can I touch it?" The little boy looks back at her and says, "Hell no, you already broke yours off!"

I broke the sink yesterday; the handle just blew right off! My dad was so mad, he blew his stack!

I used to date a girl named Ruth, but she broke up with me and now I am ruthless.

Q: How do you know when an Asian broke into your house?

A: Your math homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and 2 hours later he's still trying to back out of the driveway.

A man went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "What happened to you?"

The man replied and said, "I broke my arm in two places!"

Then the doctor replied with, "DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!"

Stephen Hawking didn’t die.

His charger broke.

My girlfriend broke up with me today, but it’s ok.

She said we can still be cousins.

What did the mechanic say to the other mechanic when he broke the car?

"How will we wrench ourselves out of this?"

How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.