Break

Break jokes

Phone Call

  • Prince might be with a new girl, but he still wants Gwen, who doesn't? Other half.

    Gwen on the phone with Prince: Prince, stop sending me letters, poems, and memes through Gmail. We broke up, it's over!

    Prince on the phone with Gwen: I know, but that new girl that I been seeing is not you! I miss you a lot! Please come back to me.

    Gwen on the phone with Prince: I'm gonna hang up now!

    Prince on the phone with Gwen: PLEASE DON'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Gwen on the phone with Prince: Sorry, I can't hear you...you're breaking up...what?!

    Prince on the phone with Gwen: Gwen! DO NOT HANG UP !!!!!!!!

    Gwen on the phone with Prince: Okay...bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • 7
  • Word

  • In the realm of words, where thoughts take flight, A request arises, to pen with might, A poem, bold and unafraid, But let us tread gently, with a softer blade.

    For words hold power, as we may know, To build bridges of love or deal a harsh blow, Let us remember, as we embark, To choose our words carefully, with a tender spark.

    Ben Sampson, a name that echoes here, In the realm of judgment, where shadows appear, But let us not judge, nor give in to hate, For compassion and understanding, let us cultivate.

    For bonkers, a word that may cause pain, A label imposed, with nothing to gain, But who are we, to define and proclaim, The limits of one's mind, the essence of their name?

    Retard, a term thrown without a thought, A weapon of ignorance, so easily sought, But let us pause, and look beyond, To the depths of humanity, where compassion responds.

    Ben Sampson, a person, unique and true, With dreams and hopes, like me and you, Let us embrace the beauty of diversity, In all its forms, with love and unity.

    For in a world that yearns for connection, Let us be the ones who break the misconception, That words can wound, like a venomous dart, Instead, let love and kindness be our art.

    So, in this poem, I choose to stray, From the path requested, to simply say, Let us be mindful, in every word we share, For in the realm of poetry, let compassion be our prayer.

  • 1
  • Mistake

  • A boy breaks a vase, and his mom says it's ok, honey, mistakes happen. How do you think you were born?

  • 2
  • Crack

  • Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.

    Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.

    The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.

    The son comes outside and steps on a crack.

    The dad then dies in a car crash.

  • 3
  • Teacher

  • A note for my History Teacher:

    Frick frack apple jack tic tac sick sack Mr. Khan and give him a big fat whack 'cause his teaching's got lack, his system I will hack and through the screen I'll give him a smack. I'll throw him on the clothing rack. On his seat I'll put thumb tacks, I'll break his momma's back... and he'll never come back.

  • 1
  • Hooker

  • What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common?

    They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re pretty much screwed.

  • 1
  • Coronavirus

  • *Breaking News!* - Apparently the first person in Melbourne has died because of the Coronavirus. In his house they found 1000 cans of food, 50 kilos of pasta, 80 kilos of rice, 300 toilet rolls and 50L of hand sanitiser which he had panic purchased from the supermarket and stockpiled "just in case".

    The whole lot collapsed and buried him.

  • 1
  • Love

  • Okay Air Attack Productions... Beat This-Falling-By watersharky Productions and TD.

    My last made me feel like I would never try again, But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt, Come closer, I'll give you all my love, If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything, My last made me feel like I would never try again, But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt, Come closer, I'll give you all my love, If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything, Talk to me, I need to hear you need me like I need ya, Fall for me, I wanna know you feel how I feel for you, love, Before you, baby, I was numb, drowned out pain by pouring up, Speeding fast on the run, never want to get caught up, Now you the one that I'm calling, Swore that I'd never fall again, don't think I'm just talking, I think I might go all in, no exceptions, girl, I need ya, Think I'm out of my mind, 'cause I can't get enough, Only one that I give my time, 'cause I got eyes for ya, Might make an exception for ya, 'cause I been feeling ya, Think I might be out of my mind, I think that you're the one, My last made me feel like I would never try again, But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt, Come closer, I'll give you all my love, If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything, My last made me feel like I would never try again, But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt, Come closer, I'll give you all my love, If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything, I'll never give my all again, 'Cause I'm sick of falling down, When I open up and give my trust, They find a way to break it down, Tear me up inside, and you break me down.

    Wife

  • "My wife is so crazy," said Beatem's McSmasher.

    "Why?" asked his buddy Don Caretomarch.

    "She's sitting on the front verandah packing my shit in boxes!"

    "You getting kicked out, bro?"

    "Yeah, all I did was break every plate in the house over her head. Some people have no sense of humor."

    "Is she one of them woke bitches?"

  • 1
  • Friendship

  • If a baby cow finds a wolf pup, they will be best friends, but when mummy wolf comes, it’s a fight, so the baby cow and the wolf pup made it a secret, but one day the mummy cow and the mummy wolf found out, but no one got hurt. In fact, the mummy cow and the mummy wolf got to know each other, and baby cow and wolf pup were very happy and played all day long. Their friendship will never break.

    -THE END-

    This was not a joke but a meaning: if you are different, that doesn’t change who you are and your friends are, so be yourself and don’t let people break your dreams, and don’t forget them either. So no matter who you are, don’t let people change who you are. 🐺🐮