Break

Break jokes

Machine

I heard every single machine in the coin factory just broke down all of a sudden.

It just doesn’t make any cents!

Boyfriend

My boyfriend thinks he’s hilarious.

Him: How do you break things?

Me: You break things up.

Him: Okay.

Me: Is everything okay?

Him: We’re a twig. We’re breaking up.

Law

What did the cop say to the muslim breaking the law?

"That's against th-Allah (read like da-law)."

Memes

Hooker

What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common?

They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re pretty much screwed.

Mum

What do you call the woman that fucked sooooooo many hunks to have the condom break and a failure to be born? Ur Mum.

Astronaut

What do astronauts 👩‍🚀 do when they’re on break?

They eat launch. 🚀🥪

Plate

Throw a plate.

It’s broken, right?

Say “sorry” to it.

Did it fix back?

No... that’s the same thing you did to me :)

Stereotype

A Lew runs into a wall, what does he break? His Nose.

A Mexican runs into a wall, what does he break? His lawn mower.

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  • Robber

    I'm so poor that when robbers break into my house,

    they bring me things. <_>

    Stroll

    Baby: Stroll?

    Me: *puts baby in stroller* WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL!

    Baby: *happily screams*

    Stroller: *front wheels break off*

    Me: WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL WITH NO FRONT WHEELS!

    Baby: Oka- CRASH!

    Father

    You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?

    Robot

    Why does a robot malfunction when they get sad?

    Because they have a break down.

    High

    Well, I didn’t get as high as I wanted to, but I’m high enough that if I fall I’d probably break something.

    Bad Luck

    Beer Bottle: You break me, you get one year of bad luck!

    Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!

    Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)

    Fight

    How do you break up a fight between two gay men?

    Say, "Can you get straight to the point?"

    Disappointment

    The definition of the word "Disappointment" means running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose.

    Accident

    I didn't break my back in the accident, thankfully.

    But I can break yours today, hopefully.