Break jokes
My boyfriend thinks he’s hilarious.
Him: How do you break things?
Me: You break things up.
Him: Okay.
Me: Is everything okay?
Him: We’re a twig. We’re breaking up.
Q: Why didn't the skeleton laugh at the joke?
A: He broke his funny bone!
What did the cop say to the muslim breaking the law?
"That's against th-Allah (read like da-law)."
What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common?
They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re pretty much screwed.
What do you call the woman that fucked sooooooo many hunks to have the condom break and a failure to be born? Ur Mum.
Memes
What do astronauts 👩🚀 do when they’re on break?
They eat launch. 🚀🥪
Throw a plate.
It’s broken, right?
Say “sorry” to it.
Did it fix back?
No... that’s the same thing you did to me :)
A Lew runs into a wall, what does he break? His Nose.
A Mexican runs into a wall, what does he break? His lawn mower.
What happens when a frog's car breaks down?
It gets toad away!
I'm so poor that when robbers break into my house,
they bring me things. <_>
Baby: Stroll?
Me: *puts baby in stroller* WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL!
Baby: *happily screams*
Stroller: *front wheels break off*
Me: WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL WITH NO FRONT WHEELS!
Baby: Oka- CRASH!
You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?
Why does a robot malfunction when they get sad?
Because they have a break down.
Well, I didn’t get as high as I wanted to, but I’m high enough that if I fall I’d probably break something.
Beer Bottle: You break me, you get one year of bad luck!
Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!
Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)
How do you break up a fight between two gay men?
Say, "Can you get straight to the point?"
The definition of the word "Disappointment" means running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose.
I didn't break my back in the accident, thankfully.
But I can break yours today, hopefully.
What's a convict's favorite song?
"I want to break free."
"My wife is so crazy," said Beatem's McSmasher.
"Why?" asked his buddy Don Caretomarch.
"She's sitting on the front verandah packing my shit in boxes!"
"You getting kicked out, bro?"
"Yeah, all I did was break every plate in the house over her head. Some people have no sense of humor."
"Is she one of them woke bitches?"