Break Jokes

You know why morning food digests so quickly.

Because it break fast

My girlfriend sent “a let’s break up text” right when I was done editing our pics 😮‍💨

I was walking down the streets with my parents and my sister, my mum said "step on a crack break your mother's back" I stepped on a crack, my sister has been in the hospital ever since

Roses are red violets are blue were breaking up because I never love you

Two girls are at a play and are about to go on the stage.

Ally before the other girl gos on stage: break a leg!

Rachel: alright!

On stage, Rachel trips over a stand and breaks her leg

Rachel calling backstage: I broke my leg!

Breaking news (2020): depressed pigeon misses shitting on people

*Breaking News!* - Apparently the first person in Melbourne has died because of the Coronavirus. In his house they found 1000 cans of food, 50 kilos of pasta, 80 kilos of rice, 300 toilet rolls and 50L of hand sanitiser which he had panic purchased from the supermarket and stock piled "just in case".

The whole lot collapsed and buried him.

A Teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.

But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share ?' ''Yes madam......My daddy told me a story about my Mom " "OK, let's hear" said the teacher.

"My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit". "She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife". "She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops." "She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."

Pin drop silence in the class !!

''Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story ?"

"Stay away from Mummy when she's drunk```......!!!!"

Why Did The Skeleton Have No Friends? He Was A Boner! Heheheh! Ah, See Ya Soon Kiddo. Im Goin On Break. Ill Give You Some Fried Snow Later!

How do you make a plumber cry?

Break his pipes...

The school shotter when the cops show up be like:

Aint nothing gunna break my stride, aint nothing gunna hold me down. Oh oh. Ive got to keep on moving.

Me: That’s a good WAVE Friend: I SEA it Wave: Doesn't break for us to surf on Me: I was SHORE it would be good Friend: I SEA what you did there

Why did 1 break the door open? 2 3 4

When your at school and you have to wipe your ass but it only one ply... Your finger breaks through... mmm Finger lickin good

Guys if you saw a post from someone is pretending to be me don't listen to them. I'm just going to be out for 3 days. or maybe for a mounth break. There are a lot fakers.