Shooting

Anonymous

The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologized to the Olympic Committee after realizing that sailing and shooting were two separate events.

King

Anonymous

Why is Martin Luther King so bad at laundry?

He won’t separate the whites from the colors…

God

drunkonlemonjuice

God’s racist. He separated light from dark.

7

Fight

Billybigwillymonsterknob

One weekend some distant family members that I hadn’t met before came over. My cousins (who I also hadn’t met before) were fighting, so I decided to separate them and place them in opposite corners of the room (thinking it would help).

My mom took me to an empty room with tears in her eyes, and told me they both ended up dying.

Well, SO-RRY but I didnt know they’re conjoined twins.

Sister

John Frank

Once upon a time, fraternal twins, brother and sisters, with almost 100% equal DNA were separated at birth. At the age of 42, they were married, had 2 sons and 2 daughter. They took an ancestryDNA test, and the results were scientifically sexually shocking.

Wife

Anonymous

My wife went to make a cake the recipe said separate two eggs so she put one egg in the living room

Puns

Anonymous

What separates snowmen from snow-women? Snow Balls

Tower

USSR Soldier

2 planes crashed into 2 separate towers.

Now 2 towers crash into 2 separate planes.

Cube

Pro ophan joker

Why are the Americans good at rubix cubes? Because they have a long history of separating colours.

Adult

Anonymous

What do you call a born again heteroflexable male that is a christain nationalist who thinks he is bisexual when the LGBT community knows that he is bicurious and that he is on steroids and that the LGBT community knows that he is not telling the truth about that he is a gay man that is in the closet he should be forced out of the closet by gay men in the LGBT community by any means by necessary if gay men in the LGBT community still want to defend the wall of separation of church and state by any means necessary

Post

Anonymous

Thomas Montgomery would eat his fillet of fish in bed every night. He had fillet of fish bedding and everything. His roommates always asked him, why are you eating your fillet of fish in bed. He wouldn’t reply. His family took him to the best psychologist in the field. Thomas continued emptying his bank account on fillet of fish to eat in bed. His friend said one day , took a picture of Thomas and told him to say cheese. They laughed and went there separate ways. Then in bed that night , Thomas kept on thinking to himself I never said cheese before someone snapt my picture. He repeated it again. The next day he thanked his friend fillet in him feel better.