Box jokes
Yesterday I had a party.
I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.
I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!
How is the world like a box of crayons?
Nobody likes the white ones.
And a side note, it's multi colored.
Yo mama sooooo stupid, she bought tickets to Xbox Live!
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people.
Why can't a homeless person be seen around your wife?
Because she'll ask for her cardboard box! Ahahah.
A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."
The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"
The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."
What is the difference between a man and a woman packing boxes?
The man says, "I have everything I need."
The woman says, "I love everything I have."
What is a gay person's favorite fast food place?
Jack(off) in the Box.
Little Johnny attends school regularly and often brings a box of sultanas as a gift to his favorite teacher.
One morning Little Johnny attends class without a box of sultanas.
The teacher enquires, why Johnny "where is my box of sultanas?"
Johnny replied, "Sorry, miss, my rabbit died."
Little Johnny and his mom were sitting in church one day when suddenly Johnny said, "Mom, I think I'm gonna throw up!"
Then his mom said, "Go across the field and into the bushes, hopefully no one will see you there."
Johnny comes back a minute later, and his mom asks, "Did you make it?" Then Johnny said, "No, but there was a box by the door that SAID 'For The Sick!'"
What do condoms and whores have in common?
Answer: There is a lot that comes in every box.
I got barred from Weight Watchers today.
It wasn't my fault; it was the fat ass next to me who spilled her box of Maltesers onto the floor in the middle of the room. All I did was say that it was the funniest game of Hungry Hungry Hippos that I have ever seen.
Timmy: *grabs box of Trojans*
Daddy:...
Timmy: Well come on diddy!
Daddy: Well shit lets go son!
Both: YEE YEE
SWEET HOME ALABAMA
I was at a supermarket in Barcelona and I noticed the alarm had gone off. There was a thief at the store; the tea bag section had been ransacked.
Luckily they found the thief, Pionel Pessi, with boxes of his favourite tea, Penaltea. Shame on you, Pessi!
What is a box called when a cough dies in it?
A coffin.
My son and I went on a tour to the Old Trafford Stadium. We were admiring the 76,000 seat arena when he suddenly pointed at the pitch.
“Dad, who is that man camping there?” I said, “Son, that is Bruno Penandes. He lives in that Penalty box. He only performs in small games.”
I don’t like to play games, actually. There is one game: It’s Barbie. Of course, I’ll be Ken, and you’ll be the box cum in.
I like my boo like I like my packages: straight out of the box.
How did they know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her Head and Shoulders in the glove box.
The Pope drives around in a glass box, or as I like to call him, a sniper's dream.