Box jokes

There was a man named Matt that went to the church to confess one of his most recent sins. He told the priest, "I am here to tell you my sins." He was all for it and said, "Go ahead."

Matt, "Father, last night I almost cheated on my wife."

Priest, "How so?"

Matt, "We were together naked, but we didn't do anything, just rubbed each other, that's all."

Priest, "RUBBING TOGETHER IS THE SAME THING AS PUTTING IT IN! For your sins you must never see that woman again and put $50 in the donation box!"

Matt, "Okay, I promise not to see her again."

Then Matt walks out the door.

Priest, "Hey! I saw you! You didn't put any money in the donation box!!"

Matt, "Yes I did. I took the money and rubbed it against the box because you said rubbing it is the same thing as putting it in."

There is a lot of difference between a man and a woman saying, "I went through a whole box of tissues watching that movie."

Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?

A: Either way they'll kill your dog.

What do KFC and pussy have in common?

Both are finger lickin' good, and after you are done eating, you have a box to put the bone in.

I saw a beautiful homeless girl and asked if I could take her out on a date. She politely accepted and enjoyed herself. Soon after, I asked if I could take her home, she smiled and nodded her head. Her smile disappeared when she saw me running away with her cardboard box.

Mr. Smith had four daughters. Each of his daughters had a brother. How many children does Mr. Smith have?

Question: Why did the blonde get excited after finishing a puzzle in 5 months?

Answer: The box said 3-5 years!

Two boys came home for dinner late, and their mother asked, "Where have you boys been?" One of them replied with, "We were all over the neighborhood, we're mailmen now." Their snobby teen sister said, "Well, you're not real mailmen, real mailmen use real letters." Then one of the boys said, "Actually, we used real letters, we found a whole box of them under your bed."

Bill gets home from work late again, and Susan is angry. She hollers at Bill, "I AM FURIOUS. When I go outside tomorrow, there better be something that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds!" Bill says, "Ok." The next morning there is a box outside! Susan opens it. It's a scale! Bill hasn't been seen since October 2, 2002.

What is the biggest disrespect to send a box of tea bags to Africa?

What do you call a lesbian with braces? A box cutter.

Why is a gun like a box of chocolates?

If you pull one out in class, everyone wants to be your friend.

Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll?

Ken came in a different box.

What do you call Juice WRLD in a coffin?

A juice box...

How many children can you fit in a box?

Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.

What did they find in Jeffery Dahmer's apartment?

Jack in a box.

Why did the astronauts take a box of cereal and a cow with them? In case they bypassed the Milky Way!

I got a new Lego airplane set from my friend... oddly, there were also two towers included in the box as well.

Dude,

if you stab a cereal box, will that make you a cereal killer?

Why do we put round pizzas in square boxes and eat them as triangles?