Life is like a box of chocolates. It gets finished pretty quickly if you're a fat guy.
What's the same about boxes and children?
They're both found in basements.
What do a brand new house, me, and new jewelry box have in common?
We're all empty on the inside.
Yo momma is so stupid, she eats cardboard boxes thinking they're chocolate bars.
What do you call a terrorist at a cinema?
A box office bomb.
Attended my boss's funeral to pay my respects. On my way out, I leaned over his casket and whispered lightly, "Well, look who's thinking outside the box now."
I can't believe this!
Pizza is round and it comes in a square box, and you cut it into a triangle.
Wanna play dolls?
I can be Ken, and you can be the box I come in.
Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in another box.
"My wife is so crazy," said Beatem's McSmasher.
"Why?" asked his buddy Don Caretomarch.
"She's sitting on the front verandah packing my shit in boxes!"
"You getting kicked out, bro?"
"Yeah, all I did was break every plate in the house over her head. Some people have no sense of humor."
"Is she one of them woke bitches?"
Why do people shake cigarette boxes?
To wake up the cancer.
I had two boxes: one Roblox, one Xbox.
The cold winter night, there was a cabin in the woods. The cabin housed 3 men. The men were gay but they did not know.
Fili: "Fili." Kili: "And Kili." Fili and Kili: "At your service." Kili: "You must be Mr. Baggins." Bilbo: "No! You canāt come in, youāve come to the wrong house." Kili: "What?! Has it been canceled?" Fili: "No one told us." Bilbo: "Can...! No, nothingās been canceled." Kili: "Thatās a relief." Fili: "Careful with these, I just had them sharpened." Kili: "Itās nice, this place. Did you do it yourself?" Bilbo: "Uh...no, itās been in the family for years. Thatās my motherās glory box, can you please not do that?" Dwalin: "Fili, KiĀli, come on, give us a hand." Kili: "Mr. Dwalin." Balin: "Letās shove this in the hole, or otherwise weāll never get everyone in." Bilbo: "Ev...everyone?! How many more are there? Oh, no! No, no. Thereās nobody home! Go away, and bother somebody else! Thereās far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If...if this is some blockheadās idea of a joke, I can only say, it is in very poor taste!" One of the Dwarves: "Get off, you big lump!"
Then the men only had one seat they had in the cabin. It was a bar seat. they were able to flip it upside down and fit all of them on it.
What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?
By the time you're done with the breasts and the thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
When the school shooter is getting roasted because of his Pokemon lunch box, but they don't know that there is a Glock 34 inside.
How do you get 50 hungry kids into a box? You put a can of beans in there.
How do you get 50 hungry kids out of a box? You run past with a can opener.
What is similar between a ton of kids and some boxes?
Both of those are commonly found in basements.
Do you ever wonder why orphans buy small cereal boxes? It's because they can't get family size.
My mom smashed my Xbox, so I smashed her daughter. š
My mom gave me a box of chocolates, and she said life is like a box of chocolates, but then it kind of tastes like dog shit.
