Life is like a box of chocolates. It gets finished pretty quickly if you're a fat guy.
What do a brand new house, me, and new jewelry box have in common?
We're all empty on the inside.
Yo momma is so stupid, she eats cardboard boxes thinking they're chocolate bars.
What's the same about boxes and children?
They're both found in basements.
Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in another box.
Wanna play dolls?
I can be Ken, and you can be the box I come in.
Attended my boss's funeral to pay my respects. On my way out, I leaned over his casket and whispered lightly, "Well, look who's thinking outside the box now."
What do you call a terrorist at a cinema?
A box office bomb.
I can't believe this!
Pizza is round and it comes in a square box, and you cut it into a triangle.
"My wife is so crazy," said Beatem's McSmasher.
"Why?" asked his buddy Don Caretomarch.
"She's sitting on the front verandah packing my shit in boxes!"
"You getting kicked out, bro?"
"Yeah, all I did was break every plate in the house over her head. Some people have no sense of humor."
"Is she one of them woke bitches?"
Why do people shake cigarette boxes?
To wake up the cancer.
I had two boxes: one Roblox, one Xbox.
The cold winter night, there was a cabin in the woods. The cabin housed 3 men. The men were gay but they did not know.
Fili: "Fili." Kili: "And Kili." Fili and Kili: "At your service." Kili: "You must be Mr. Baggins." Bilbo: "No! You can’t come in, you’ve come to the wrong house." Kili: "What?! Has it been canceled?" Fili: "No one told us." Bilbo: "Can...! No, nothing’s been canceled." Kili: "That’s a relief." Fili: "Careful with these, I just had them sharpened." Kili: "It’s nice, this place. Did you do it yourself?" Bilbo: "Uh...no, it’s been in the family for years. That’s my mother’s glory box, can you please not do that?" Dwalin: "Fili, Kili, come on, give us a hand." Kili: "Mr. Dwalin." Balin: "Let’s shove this in the hole, or otherwise we’ll never get everyone in." Bilbo: "Ev...everyone?! How many more are there? Oh, no! No, no. There’s nobody home! Go away, and bother somebody else! There’s far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If...if this is some blockhead’s idea of a joke, I can only say, it is in very poor taste!" One of the Dwarves: "Get off, you big lump!"
Then the men only had one seat they had in the cabin. It was a bar seat. they were able to flip it upside down and fit all of them on it.
What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?
By the time you're done with the breasts and the thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
How do you get 50 hungry kids into a box? You put a can of beans in there.
How do you get 50 hungry kids out of a box? You run past with a can opener.
When the school shooter is getting roasted because of his Pokemon lunch box, but they don't know that there is a Glock 34 inside.
Do you ever wonder why orphans buy small cereal boxes? It's because they can't get family size.
What is similar between a ton of kids and some boxes?
Both of those are commonly found in basements.
My mom smashed my Xbox, so I smashed her daughter. 😏
Why can't a citizen in communist China, especially a Chinese male who is between 18-29 years old, buy a box of condoms in a drug store in communist China?
Because the condom would be too big for the penis of Chinese men in communist China.
