Okay long story fast, i walked to gamestop in my house in the kitchen by walmart to a BTS squid game concert and drake and pablo was there for her labor in the cowboys stadium by nike , so i bought pencil from a dead alive man he said ''ZOO WEE MAMA" so yeah.
Why did Stevan Hawkins die so soon...
Because his misses bought the wrong battery’s
If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?
Idaho...Alaska!
I bought my sister a trampoline she sat in hur wheelchair and cryed
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I just bought a book about lamps.....
So I can do some light reading over the weekend
I found a book called How to Solve 50% of Your Problems. So I bought 2.
What’s Whitney Houston’s favourite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
I went to the shops yesterday, I bought roast chicken, eggs and duck. The cashier read $45.99 it was an eggcelent price.
I bought a anti-bullying wristband I say I bought I stole it of a fat ginger kid
i bought drugs today.
So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.
Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.
When Lexa took Clarke out on a date, she walked past the candle shop, she bought all the candles. After the date, they went back to the Heda's (Commanders) Tower, which is basically a huge candle. "All I wanna do is Candle you"
(Lexa and Clarke from 'The 100' [ #LexaDeservedBetter ] R.I.P. Lexa...)
My daughter came home from school later then usual I was panicking then at 5:30pm she arrived not walking but in a bus 🚌 I asked where the hell did this bus come from! She said the garage in the alleyway mama I bought it for five gummies and eight buttons you like her she is called belle bus. My face was just:😑 how did u get the bus here she reply’s with a whisper I drove her through five gardens a house and two police cars! 🙃 so that explains why you have handcuffs on “yeah!”
I bought a new shot gun the other day want to know what I called it? Kurt Cobain's microphone.
I bought these trainers from a drug dealer, I don't know what he laced it with but i have been trippin' all day.
I bought my friend a rope for his birthday he said it was the most violent book ever
its rly funny read through everything slowly say im a man after everything i say. I went to the bar. "Im a man" you saw this woman. "Im a man" you guys married. 'Im a man' you guys bought a house. 'im a man' you guys went to bed. "im a man" you said. "im a man" she said. "im a man"
How do you call somebody who has bought a Corona? A Cor-owner.
The duck bought lipstick when he paid he said put it on my bill
