What type of flour do you buy an orphan? Self-raising.
Little Johnny and his dad were going to buy a horse.Dad: Rubing on the horse’s chest and butt.Little Johnny: what are you doing? Dad: checking to see if the horse is healthy so I can buy it. Little Johnny: Oh well I think the mall man wants to buy mom.
What's the cheapest kind of meat you can buy?
Deer balls. They're under a buck.
The average human male walks for five miles, but the gas station is ten miles away. So why does it take fifteen years for my dad to buy cigarettes?
I was very lonely so I bought some shares. -- It's nice to have a bit of company.
You know why I don't buy Velcro items anymore?
They are a total rip off.
Where did the cat go when it lost it's tail? -- To the retail store!
Why buy a pregnant slave over a normal slave ? Buy 1 get 1 free 😂😂😂😂
I liked my life when I first got it.....later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.
A programmer and his wife.
She says, "We're out of bread. Please go the grocery store and buy one. And if they've got eggs, get six."
After a while, he's back with six loaves of bread.
The wife asks, "Why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?"
He replies, "They had eggs."
I bought a gun from Walmart today. I guess they knew what I was going to do with it, because when I pulled the gun on the cashier, I realized the firing mechanism was in reverse.
A man walks into a pharmacy and buys multiple containers of Tylenol and the clerk asks why he's buying all of these and he replies with "I'm playing 1 pill eat 100."
I once saw a one handed man in a second hand store. I said to him: "i don't think they have what you're looking for sir"
What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate
Where do you buy a dishwasher. Hot singles in your area
I bought a book for my blind friend :)
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag
One is made of plastic and bad for kids the other one holds shopping
Should I buy COVID-19 or wait until COVID-20 comes out?
i bought shoes from a drug dealer yesterday- i dont know what he laced them with but i was trippen all day
I bought a wooden whistle. But it wooden whistle. So I bought a steel whistle. But it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle. So I bought an iron whistle. But ironically it steel wooden lead me whistle.
