Bought jokes

I bought a white Xbox to last longer, and I bought a black Xbox to run faster.

Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son. Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day. 😐

Yo momma decided to go to KFC until she realized she had to share with her family, so she bought ten buckets and the cashier said, "Here is the receipt." Now yo momma got afraid of how much money she had to spend, despiting on how she spent more than Drake's net worth that he can even lend. She went back home seeing her family looking at her and the KFC, thinking that could be her rent, but the whole family dug into the food. By the second they see the plates empty and seeing the lazy mom steady, she ate so much she wasn't ready until she fell, which caused an earthquake, which made her go to jail, which caused her to be scary.

I bought an orphan iPhone 8 Plus and he said he doesn't want it 'cause it didn't have a HOME button.

I bought a wooden whistle. I tried so hard, but it wouldn't whistle.

So I bought a steel one. It still wouldn't let me whistle. Then I got a lead one. It still wouldn't lead me whistle. Then I realised, they were flutes, so the wood would lead me whistle if I did it correctly. Steel....

My lesbian friends bought me a gold timepiece for my birthday.

But, I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch!"

I bought a belt made of clocks.

It was a waist of time.

I went to the store and bought Minecraft Java Edition.

I found a village, burned it down, and then I went home and played Minecraft.

I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.

Husband: "Honey, I just bought these special Olympic-style condoms!"

Wife: "Olympic-style condoms? What makes them so special?"

Husband: "They come in three colors: gold, silver, and bronze."

Wife: "Ooh, sweet. What color are you going to wear tonight?"

Husband: "Gold, of course!"

Wife: "Why don't you wear silver? It would be nice if you came second for a change."

Yesterday I bought my daughter a cat, but accidentally hit her with the car today. I have no idea what to do with the cat now.

When I was a kid, my hamster died, so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn't notice. It didn't matter anyway, since I beat that one to death, too.

I bought my spoiled brother a trampoline for his birthday, but he decided to sit in his wheelchair like a little bitch.

I bought a Dalek egg timer recently...

After a few minutes, it shouts, "Eggs terminate!"

Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp?

He bought a warehouse.

My son is such a miserable brat, I bought him a brand new trampoline for Christmas and all he wants to do is sit in his wheelchair and cry.

Yo mama so fat that when she bought food, she ran out of money.

My wife Jean is happy, 😊 pretty, 😍 and pregnant,🤰 boy, 👦 am I glad 😊 I bought her 👩 a new whirlpool washer and dryer.

Washer: $249.95 Dryer: $199.95

I bought this happy birthday card for this orphan.

To: The Orphan

From: ______

I bought a sweater and it started building up static electricity.

So I got another one free of charge.