Bought jokes

Two businessmen bought the Milwaukee Bucks for $500 million. They are very excited about their transaction, for this is the only legal way to own black people.

I bought a silencer for my gun, but I don't think it works.

My victims still scream.

I bought a white Xbox to last longer, and I bought a black Xbox to run faster.

Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son. Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day. 😐

Yo momma decided to go to KFC until she realized she had to share with her family, so she bought ten buckets and the cashier said, "Here is the receipt." Now yo momma got afraid of how much money she had to spend, despiting on how she spent more than Drake's net worth that he can even lend. She went back home seeing her family looking at her and the KFC, thinking that could be her rent, but the whole family dug into the food. By the second they see the plates empty and seeing the lazy mom steady, she ate so much she wasn't ready until she fell, which caused an earthquake, which made her go to jail, which caused her to be scary.

I bought my spoiled brother a trampoline for his birthday, but he decided to sit in his wheelchair like a little bitch.

I bought an orphan iPhone 8 Plus and he said he doesn't want it 'cause it didn't have a HOME button.

I bought a wooden whistle. I tried so hard, but it wouldn't whistle.

So I bought a steel one. It still wouldn't let me whistle. Then I got a lead one. It still wouldn't lead me whistle. Then I realised, they were flutes, so the wood would lead me whistle if I did it correctly. Steel....

I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.

I went to the store and bought Minecraft Java Edition.

I found a village, burned it down, and then I went home and played Minecraft.

Yesterday I bought my daughter a cat, but accidentally hit her with the car today. I have no idea what to do with the cat now.

When I was a kid, my hamster died, so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn't notice. It didn't matter anyway, since I beat that one to death, too.

I bought a Dalek egg timer recently...

After a few minutes, it shouts, "Eggs terminate!"

Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp?

He bought a warehouse.

My lesbian friends bought me a gold timepiece for my birthday.

But, I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch!"

I bought a new shotgun the other day. Want to know what I called it?

Kurt Cobain's microphone.

My son is such a miserable brat, I bought him a brand new trampoline for Christmas and all he wants to do is sit in his wheelchair and cry.

My wife Jean is happy, 😊 pretty, 😍 and pregnant,🤰 boy, 👦 am I glad 😊 I bought her 👩 a new whirlpool washer and dryer.

Washer: $249.95 Dryer: $199.95

Yo mama so fat that when she bought food, she ran out of money.

I bought a sweater and it started building up static electricity.

So I got another one free of charge.