My mom bought me a car and she called me an ungrateful b**ch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time
I bought a horse and named him Mayo.
Sometimes Mayo neighs.
I bought my son an Xbox in 2017 it’s now 2018 and I’m still waiting for him to open it
I rode to the bottle shop on my bike yesterday. I bought a whole bottle of wine and put it in the basket on the front of my bike. Then I thought, if I fell off my bike on the way back home, it would out and shatter. So I drank all the wine and threw away the bottle. It was a good idea, because I fell off my bike about four times on the way back.
Jonny went to school one day and later that day his dad got a call saying he needs to pick up his son because he had had sex with a teacher. When Jonny got home his dad was so happy he went out to the store and bought him a bike. When they bought the bike Jonny was offered to ride the bike but he declined it and replied with my butt still hurts.
A man bought a brand new iphone but returned it, why The apple was already bitten.
Yo mama so dumb, when the doctor told her she had coronavirus, she bought a new laptop
a man bought steroids from Amazon.com... he was expecting a big package to cum!!!
me and my suicidal friend are close, so i took him to the mall to treat him. we bought snacks, a new controller for his xbox and a led lights for him room to hopefully brighten his mood. after we scanned the last item, the machine beeped by itself.
my friend bought a tom holland blaket and i said well, now ur sleeping with him
I bought my son a wheel chair for his brithday-Truns out he couldn’t get in it
Yo mama so stupid!
She bought a spoon... TO THE SUPERBOWL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why did Stevan Hawkins die so soon...
Because his misses bought the wrong battery’s
If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?
Idaho...Alaska!
I bought my sister a trampoline she sat in hur wheelchair and cryed
Your mama so fat when her husband said let’s go to the Super Bowl she bought a spoon
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one. She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”
Okay long story fast, i walked to gamestop in my house in the kitchen by walmart to a BTS squid game concert and drake and pablo was there for her labor in the cowboys stadium by nike , so i bought pencil from a dead alive man he said ''ZOO WEE MAMA" so yeah.
I had a calf for awhile, the milk was bad until we bought a heifer
