Bought Jokes

I bought a wooden whistle. But it wooden whistle. so I bought a steel whistle. But it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle.

I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.

What did Hitler say after his parents bought a hauler

How much did the haulla-cost

I was very lonely so I bought some shares. -- It's nice to have a bit of company.

Brother: I bought my brother a trampoline today, the ungrateful fuck just sat in his wheelchair and cried

When I was a child, my parents told me my uncle was ‘sleeping with the fishes’. At first, I thought he bought a water bed, but I then discovered he was killed and buried at sea.

I bought a gun from Walmart today. I guess they knew what I was going to do with it, because when I pulled the gun on the cashier, I realized the firing mechanism was in reverse.

I bought some sneakers from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been trippin' all day.

I got arrested on suspicion of attempted rape all because I was carrying some cable ties, a bit of tape and a piece of cloth, it's such a joke, I hadn't even bought the chloroform yet

I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. -- I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.

I bought a guh on the weekend. (whats a guh?) a GUHZZLE DEEZ NUTS! 🥜 🔩 🌰

I bought a book for my blind friend :)

Whats Saudi Arabia's highest rated sitcom? -- How I bought your mother.

A homeless man sits in front of a home Depot, a man walking out of the store hands him some money and asks "Why are you in front of the home Depot?" And the man says "Isn't it obvious? Hoping somebody accidentally drops the house they just bought."

That poor kid, he was fine until I bought him a mothers day card for his mum. The second he saw it he burst out crying...

I bought my blind friend a house on the edge of a cliff

They died of happiness and a 30 story fall

“I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry”