Bought jokes
I bought a new camera once. Every shot I took was killer!
I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.
Why did Stephen Hawking die so soon?
Because his misses bought the wrong batteries.
What's soft and feels like dog?
The fur coat I bought you from Temu.
Danny just bought a new game from Steam for a penny.
About one hour later, Danny asks his mother: "Mom, I am not able to start the game."
Mom asked, "Why?"
Danny answers: "It says 'Press any key' on the screen, but I can't find an 'Any' button on my keyboard."
Cherish you chocolate milk.
Yo mama so stupid!
She bought a spoon... TO THE SUPERBOWL!
My son is such a miserable brat, I bought him a brand new trampoline for Christmas and all he wants to do is sit in his wheelchair and cry.
I went to a book store yesterday and I saw a book that said "how to solve 50% of your problems." So I bought 2.
I bought a sweater and it started building up static electricity.
So I got another one free of charge.
Were you bought on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen.
Roses are red, Violet are blue, Ur dad bought you.
A man bought steroids from Amazon.com... He was expecting a big package to come!
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one.
She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”
If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?
Idaho... Alaska!
I bought these trainers from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced it with, but I have been trippin' all day.
How do you call somebody who has bought a Corona?
A Cor-owner.
A lawyer bought a beautiful yacht. He invited the law firm to come aboard for a great weekend.
Saturday night was the candle light dinner and Sam drank too much, walked on the deck and fell over the rail into the water and was calling for help. Tom said, "Oh no, the sharks will get him." All of the party lined along the rail and noticed the sharks were swimming around him in a circle. Jim said, "The sharks are not even bothering him!" And a shark lifted up his head out of the water and said, "Professional Courtesy."
It's really funny, read through everything slowly.
Say "I'm a man" after everything I say.
I went to the bar. "I'm a man." You saw this woman. "I'm a man." You guys married. "I'm a man." You guys bought a house. "I'm a man." You guys went to bed. "I'm a man," you said. "I'm a man," she said. "I'm a man."
Okay, long story fast, I walked to GameStop in my house, in the kitchen, by Walmart, to a BTS Squid Game concert, and Drake and Pablo were there for her labor in the Cowboys stadium by Nike, so I bought a pencil from a dead alive man. He said "ZOO WEE MAMA." So yeah.
A guy bought an AMG and crashed it. Now he knows how the Mercedes bends.