I bought a guh on the weekend. (whats a guh?) a GUHZZLE DEEZ NUTS! 🥜 🔩 🌰
My grandad broke his legs.
To cheer him up i bought him a walkman
One time, I bought a magnet, my wife asked why I bought it. I said I couldn't help myself, I felt attracted to it.
Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried
I bought a wooden whistle. But it wooden whistle. so I bought a steel whistle. But it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle.
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
The duck bought lipstick when he paid he said put it on my bill
How do you call somebody who has bought a Corona? A Cor-owner.
What did Hitler say after his parents bought a hauler
How much did the haulla-cost
Yo mama so fat, when she bought a fur coat a whole species went extinct.
I was very lonely so I bought some shares. -- It's nice to have a bit of company.
Brother: I bought my brother a trampoline today, the ungrateful fuck just sat in his wheelchair and cried
When I was a child, my parents told me my uncle was ‘sleeping with the fishes’. At first, I thought he bought a water bed, but I then discovered he was killed and buried at sea.
I bought a gun from Walmart today. I guess they knew what I was going to do with it, because when I pulled the gun on the cashier, I realized the firing mechanism was in reverse.
Your mama is so stupid, she bought tickets for Xbox live
I bought some sneakers from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been trippin' all day.
I got arrested on suspicion of attempted rape all because I was carrying some cable ties, a bit of tape and a piece of cloth, it's such a joke, I hadn't even bought the chloroform yet
I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. -- I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
I bought a book for my blind friend :)
A homeless man sits in front of a home Depot, a man walking out of the store hands him some money and asks "Why are you in front of the home Depot?" And the man says "Isn't it obvious? Hoping somebody accidentally drops the house they just bought."
