Body jokes

Q: How do you get a one armed person out of a tree?

A: You wave at them.

You know, I got a SKELETON of these jokes. All are HUMERUS. Yeah, this gets under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening. Hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!

What is the difference between paying $50.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from a physically challenged gay white male who is also a sex worker at a glory hole and paying $175.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from an able-bodied bisexual white female who is also a sex worker at a glory hole?

If you give $50.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from a physically challenged gay white male who is also a sex worker at a glory hole you are saving yourself $125.00. 💸😁

“What happens to an Asian man when he runs into a brick wall with an erection?”

“A broken nose.”

I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very egg-citing, although, I was exaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then you’re hard-boiled. That’s all for today, yolks! So I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a catastrophe. These kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be kitten me.” Meanwhile, in the ocean, they just waved, see what I did there? You shore you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too deep for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had no body. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He boned her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.

Some guy farts and says, "That was some asshole behind me."

When does a skeleton laugh?

When someone tickles his funny bone!

I went for my routine check up last week, and everything was going great until the doctor stuck her finger up my butt. Should I look for a new dentist?

What did the penis say to the condom?

"Cover me, I'm going in!"

You wanna hear a joke about my penis?

Never mind, it’s too long.

Your forehead is so big that your face touches your chin.

What did the female rapist say at her hearing?

"Well that boy's dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say, 'my body my choice.'"

What do you call a woman who aborted her quadruplets? A graveyard.

If I told you, you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?

Top tip; if your wife asks, "What would you like to do to my body?" 'Identify it' is the wrong answer.

What was Michael Jackson's favorite song?

"Touch Me (I Want Your Body)."

Life is like a penis. Other people make it hard.

Why are ant colonies very healthy? Because they have lots of antibodies.

Why can’t skeletons fight? They don’t have the guts.

Looks like someone's funny bone's broken!