Body jokes
You're so much like a marshmallow, you're so squishy and sticky, and everyone puts their sticks inside of you.
Your mom's so heavy that it caused Atlas, the Titan, to slip a disc.
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they have no body to go with.
Yo mama so FAT... I tried to picture her in my head... AND SHE BROKE MY GOD DAMN NECK!
I’ve been told I’ve got a perfect cock. She sure was hard on me when I cut it off, though.
My bf: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
My bf: Ice cream.
Me: Ice cream who?
My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!
What did the female rapist say at her hearing?
"Well that boy's dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say, 'my body my choice.'"
So little Susie came home and said, "Mom, little Johnny showed me his pecker."
And her mom said, "WHAT?!"
And little Susie was like, "Yeah, it reminded me of a peanut." Her mom said, "Oh, because it was so small?"
Susie said, "No, because it tasted salty."
What do you call a man with no hands? Clapless.
What did the skeleton pull out from behind his ear?
Nothing. Skeletons don’t have ears.
My wife is so fat.
She asked me to get on top; I had to get a step ladder. When I got up there, my ears popped, and the air was so thin. I had to have two Sherpas drag me off the mountain.
Why do men like big tits and a flat ass?
Because they got little dicks and big mouths.
Do you know Wildee?
What's that?
Will deez nuts fit into your mouth?
There was a dude. He had a mondo dong.
His wife was like, "Yo, where are your balls?"
The dude says he left them in the fridge. His wife replies, "I knew those meatballs tasted weird!"
Why do emo kids not run? Because their bodies will tear apart from the bones from all the cuts.
You're so skinny, if someone farts in your direction, you will fly away.
Say "eye," smell "map," say "ness."
(I am a penis!) HA HA!
Why did the doorbell have a good sense of humor?
Because it got everybody's pokes!
Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter? Pretty nuts!
Why don't butts get along?
Because they can't stand each other's cheek!