You wanna hear a joke about my penis?
Never mind, it’s too long.
Life is like a penis. Other people make it hard.
Why are ant colonies very healthy? Because they have lots of antibodies.
Looks like someone's funny bone's broken!
- Got myself a bathroom scale so now I know exactly how much I poop.
- Right. So you weigh yourself before and after you poop and calculate the difference? That’s cool.
- Oh...that might actually be even easier.
If I told you, you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
Top tip; if your wife asks, "What would you like to do to my body?" 'Identify it' is the wrong answer.
Roses are red, flowers are pretty, I heard your mom has a nice pair of titties.
What is the last thing you wanna see during a prostate exam?
The doctor taking off his watch.
Bro, tampons look like sperms, and they go up your coochie.
Your forehead is so big that your face touches your chin.
What did the female rapist say at her hearing?
"Well that boy's dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say, 'my body my choice.'"
Why can’t skeletons fight? They don’t have the guts.
I didn't fart. My ass likes you so much, it just blew you a kiss!
Fun fact: The body positivity movement is the only movement without any actual movement.
Why do dwarfs laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
My friends hate when I make skeleton jokes. I guess I need to put more backbone into it.
Q. What makes music on your hair?
A. A headband!
There was once a man from Peru. Who fell asleep in a canoe. While dreaming of Venus, He played with his penis, And awoke with a hand full of goo.
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
