Body jokes

There was once a man from Peru. Who fell asleep in a canoe. While dreaming of Venus, He played with his penis, And awoke with a hand full of goo.

What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's cunt?

Putting in 12 and sucking out 13.

Want to hear something that’ll make you smile? Your face muscles.

If a man is willing to try his hardest to give you the moon and stars, then ladies, you should be willing to give up Uranus.

Q: How do you get a one armed person out of a tree?

A: You wave at them.

You know, I got a SKELETON of these jokes. All are HUMERUS. Yeah, this gets under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening. Hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!

What is the difference between paying $50.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from a physically challenged gay white male who is also a sex worker at a glory hole and paying $175.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from an able-bodied bisexual white female who is also a sex worker at a glory hole?

If you give $50.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from a physically challenged gay white male who is also a sex worker at a glory hole you are saving yourself $125.00. 💸😁

“What happens to an Asian man when he runs into a brick wall with an erection?”

“A broken nose.”

I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very egg-citing, although, I was exaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then you’re hard-boiled. That’s all for today, yolks! So I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a catastrophe. These kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be kitten me.” Meanwhile, in the ocean, they just waved, see what I did there? You shore you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too deep for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had no body. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He boned her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.

What did the penis say to the condom?

"Cover me, I'm going in!"

What's worse than eating 5 raw oysters out of your grandmother's vagina?

Realizing you only put in 4.

Some guy farts and says, "That was some asshole behind me."

When does a skeleton laugh?

When someone tickles his funny bone!

I went for my routine check up last week, and everything was going great until the doctor stuck her finger up my butt. Should I look for a new dentist?

You wanna hear a joke about my penis?

Never mind, it’s too long.

Why are ant colonies very healthy? Because they have lots of antibodies.

Roses are red, flowers are pretty, I heard your mom has a nice pair of titties.

Your forehead is so big that your face touches your chin.

What did the female rapist say at her hearing?

"Well that boy's dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say, 'my body my choice.'"

If I told you, you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?