Body jokes
Getting hurt is a bone-breaking experience. It's such a spine-tingling event!
Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?
Do you know Imagine Dragons? Imagine dragon these nuts across your face!
Q. What's the most musical bone?
A. The trom-bone!
My wife went to Niagara Falls and fell. She broke every bone in her body.
One year later, she recovered. She slipped on an orange peel and died.
I don't think I'm allergic to this.
Why did the doorbell have a good sense of humor?
Because it got everybody's pokes!
What flowers are on your face?
I don’t understand why Christians are so against body piercings. Didn’t Jesus have four?
- Got myself a bathroom scale so now I know exactly how much I poop.
- Right. So you weigh yourself before and after you poop and calculate the difference? That’s cool.
- Oh...that might actually be even easier.
Everybody loves guns!
Every time I show them mine, they give me free stuff.
What's the difference between an anal and oral thermometer?
The taste.
What did the balls say to the dick?
Hey dick, how's it hanging?
A slag is like the first piece of bread in a loaf. Everyone touches it, but nobody wants it.
What's worse than eating 5 raw oysters out of your grandmother's vagina?
Realizing you only put in 4.
What do you call a vagina with teeth?
A vicious cunt.
There was once a man from Peru. Who fell asleep in a canoe. While dreaming of Venus, He played with his penis, And awoke with a hand full of goo.
If a man is willing to try his hardest to give you the moon and stars, then ladies, you should be willing to give up Uranus.
Want to hear something that’ll make you smile? Your face muscles.
Q: How do you get a one armed person out of a tree?
A: You wave at them.