Body jokes
Joe mama so fat when she got sturdy, she tripped on her shoelaces, fell on her face, and fell down 2 floors.
Yo mama so fat, she eats with three utensils: a knife, spoon, and a forklift.
Yes, I have gained weight. I have also gained more brains. Do you want some? You talk like you definitely need some more.
Yo mama is so fat that when she was at school, they needed a satellite to take her school photo.
Why is a priest different from acne?
Acne waits to come on your face.
Memes
What goes hahaha bonk?
A man laughing his head off.
Is that ass a water barrier 'cause dam[n]?
When you're at a funeral and you laugh at the body... everyone stares, and one person said, "Isn't that your mom...?"
When you say to your friend, "I've got your back," then at his funeral you see in his coffin he's missing his middle piece.
I drew a fist on a body, and then I drew a guy saying to him, "That dude's a knucklehead!"
My hips can't move, but Heineken.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms.
Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally.
What did the right eye say to the left eye?
"Between you and me, something smells!"
*funny joke about dicks*
What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? The trombone!
What's a skeleton's favorite instrument?
A trombone.
I wanted to get brain surgery.
I changed my mind.
A man wakes up in the hospital and says, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"
"Of course," the doctor says. "I amputated your arms."
Yo mama so big, she thought Christopher Rhoades was a tampon.
What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?
A cutting board.