Body jokes
If a man is willing to try his hardest to give you the moon and stars, then ladies, you should be willing to give up Uranus.
Life is like a penis: simple, soft, relaxed, and hanging free, until a woman comes around and makes it hard.
I have the brains of an old man and the heart of a child. If you don't believe me, I can pop my trunk.
I've been looking for my parents for years.
For the life of me, I can't remember where I hid their bodies.
I don't need to go to the car dealership when I have a Geico scanner on my arm at all times. š
I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, because I need new parts for my go-kart.
Guess what.
What?
Your mum saw your 1 inch.
What was Michael Jackson's favorite song?
"Touch Me (I Want Your Body)."
Life is like a penis. Other people make it hard.
Zion is so fat that his dick can't even fit in his wife's pussy.
How to protect your nuts from being hit: Just get hard.
You should go back into the abortion bucket. Maybe you'll find half a brain in there.
What do you call a flat-chested depressed person?
A cutting board.
Your Mom so fat that she went on to commit suicide, but the roof fell off.....
You are so fat that the waiter said to you every time: "Sorry for your weight" instead of "Sorry for the wait."
Why crack your fingers when you can finger your crack?
Yo momma's legs are like cottage cheese: white and chunky.
Yo momma's so dirty that when I asked what was for dinner, she sat on the table, opened her legs, and said "Crabs."
Person 1: Somebody farted.
Person 2: No, all I can smell is your breath.
A hand job from a deaf person counts as oral.
What is a skeletonās favorite singer?
Pelvis Presley.