Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying.
What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker?
Hop in.
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? "Tie won shu."
A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair. So, she told her sister, and her sister said that ain't nothing, mine's already eating bananas.
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?
Take her wheelchair, she'll come crawling back.
What do you call a dog with no legs? -- Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs?
A paintball.
Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”
Mom: “That’s not funny, you know Billy doesn’t have any arms and legs.”
Boys: “I know, we need a third base.”
Kid: What is between mom's legs?
Dad: Paradise.
Kid: What's between your legs?
Dad: The key to paradise.
Kid: Well, you better change the lock, the neighbor has the key to.
The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet. The student recited the alphabet: "abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz". "Where's the p?" He looked down to the floor and said: "it's running down my legs".
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!" And the doctor replied, "I know. I amputated your arms."
Where does a girl with one leg work?
IHOP.
I got a handjob from a blind woman the other day. She said, "It's the biggest thing I ever had in my hand." I said, "No love, you're just pulling my leg."
A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?”
He responded with, “The cat is dead.”
She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you have broken the news slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof or on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor thing's dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?”
“She’s playing on the roof.”
Kid: "Hey dad, what's dark humor?"
Dad: "Go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him."
Kid: "But dad, I don't have any legs or arms."
Dad: "Exactly, son."
This whole page is pure trash. Fuck all of you.
If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it, would they be kicking or hitting you?
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Where you left it.
What has 4 wheels, 2 legs, and loves his shoulder?
Stephen Hawking.
