Body jokes
Little Johnny asked the teacher why you were no shirt. Teacher says, "Because I want to." The teacher drops her pencil and picks it up. The class starts laughing.
"What's so funny?" A kid took off your bra, and we see your squish sexy boobs.
You so fat you got thrown out the window, but the window threw you back inside.
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
Yo mama so fat that when I banged her in the jacuzzi, there was a level 8 tsunami.
A little girl said one day, "Grandma's gonna die tonight!" The next morning, the girl's grandmother's body was found.
That day she said again, "Grandpa's gonna die tonight!" Sure enough, the girl's grandfather died and his body was discovered the next morning.
That day she said, "Daddy's gonna die tonight." The girl's father was terrified. He lay shaking the entire night. Somehow, he survived until morning. His wife came into the room crying. He asked her why she was upset and she said that the postman had died last night.
I was watching a "don't laugh" video, and an erection joke almost made me laugh.
It really gave me a hard time indeed.
What do you call a person with no arms and legs?
You can call him whatever you want; he's not coming.
I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.
Me and my friends were having a party the other day when some bitch came bitching about the noise. Thankfully, she was hot and had a nice ass, so it was enjoyable raping her.
The next day when I woke up, I found her body only half eaten. Her lower body was still intact, so I went for seconds to fuck off the hangover. Then I had breakfast. Her ass tasted good with some ketchup.
Yo mama so fat, she had to get baptized in the ocean.
Joe mama so fat she went wearing high heels and came back in flip flops.
What do you call someone with a big butt?
The Thightanic!
Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to smell her own nose.
What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?
A cutting board.
Don't break girls' hearts. Break their legs instead. They're two.
The first time I heard your voice, my foreskin fell off.
What's a cow's strongest part of their body?
Their "calves"!
I would roast you, but you don't have any meat!
"I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist.
He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."
I hope Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, 'cause I need some parts for my go-cart.