I'm gonna eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before I die just to make the cremation a little more interesting.
Body Jokes
U mess with goose, he strain out all of your body juice.
U mess with goose, he hang u with noose.
Yes, I have gained weight. I have also gained more brains. Do you want some? You talk like you definitely need some more.
What's still together after all the sh*t they've been through? Your butt cheeks.
I spy with my little eye something starting with, actually I have TWO normal eyes.
Q) Why is Technoblade's body hard?
A) Cuz he was thinking of children on his deathbed!
Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.
One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."
Why do we call them dead bodies? Nobody says "alive bodies!" Like you walk into your workplace, "OMFG IT'S FULL OF BODIES! Alive ones, though." You wouldn't give birth and say, "Come on, husband, help me with the bodies." If it's a surprise party, you wouldn't say, "QUICK, HIDE THE BODIES!" And the person who the party was for wouldn't say "OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY DEAD!"
What does a dick and an elderly person have in common? They are both short.
"Deez nutz" are a hairline.
You're so fat, when you went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."
Ur mama so fat she needs two watches because she's in different time zones.
She got on the scale, said "to be continued."
My ass itches.
Why do men midgets laugh when they run?
Because their balls get tickled by the grass.
Why did the serial killer let the guy in a wheelchair go? Because the guy didn’t really have any body for the serial killer to stab.
It's tiring being straight 24/7.
What has 2 arms, 2 legs, 2 eyes, 2 breasts for milking, and a hole to fill with my 9 inches?
A sexy female.
Sally had 9 pounds of boobs (9), which was 2 2 many (922), so on the 9th of the month (9229) at 6pm (92296) on 68 street (922968), she went to doctor x to get 6 operations (922968x6) and left her (flip your calculator) boobless.
Fart a lot.
