Body jokes

A penis has a sad life.

His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him. That's it for now.

You're so skinny that you use Chapstick as deodorant.

You're so skinny, you probably wipe your ass with floss.

I'm 14. I have had sex before. I have 206 bones in my body, but when I'm with my gf, I have 207.

Yo hairline is so bad it looks like a fat person's stomach.

I have a green ball in one hand and one in the other. What am I holding?

Shrek's dick.

What did one ass cheek say to the other?

"Blimey, what's that smell coming from the corridor?"

You're so much like a marshmallow, you're so squishy and sticky, and everyone puts their sticks inside of you.

Touch your toes and hold them. Then spell "run." It will say, "r.u.n."

Bro, tampons look like sperms, and they go up your coochie.

If you can’t touch your brain or see your brain, you don’t have a brain?

I poo 11 times a day.

Your forehead is so big, your mom spent half of the time in the delivery room giving birth to just your head.

I got a call from McDonald's; they want their sign back.

My foot itches.

I'm gonna eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before I die just to make the cremation a little more interesting.

U mess with goose, he strain out all of your body juice.

U mess with goose, he hang u with noose.

Yes, I have gained weight. I have also gained more brains. Do you want some? You talk like you definitely need some more.

What's still together after all the sh*t they've been through? Your butt cheeks.

I spy with my little eye something starting with, actually I have TWO normal eyes.