Body jokes
Why do we call them dead bodies? Nobody says "alive bodies!" Like you walk into your workplace, "OMFG IT'S FULL OF BODIES! Alive ones, though." You wouldn't give birth and say, "Come on, husband, help me with the bodies." If it's a surprise party, you wouldn't say, "QUICK, HIDE THE BODIES!" And the person who the party was for wouldn't say "OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY DEAD!"
What does a dick and an elderly person have in common? They are both short.
"Deez nutz" are a hairline.
You're so fat, when you went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."
Ur mama so fat she needs two watches because she's in different time zones.
She got on the scale, said "to be continued."
My ass itches.
Why do men midgets laugh when they run?
Because their balls get tickled by the grass.
Why did the serial killer let the guy in a wheelchair go? Because the guy didn’t really have any body for the serial killer to stab.
It's tiring being straight 24/7.
What has 2 arms, 2 legs, 2 eyes, 2 breasts for milking, and a hole to fill with my 9 inches?
A sexy female.
Sally had 9 pounds of boobs (9), which was 2 2 many (922), so on the 9th of the month (9229) at 6pm (92296) on 68 street (922968), she went to doctor x to get 6 operations (922968x6) and left her (flip your calculator) boobless.
Fart a lot.
A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.
Why do so many people get charged with rape? Because they are too stupid to finish her off and bury the body.
Joe mama's so fat, her belly button gets home an hour before she does.
Yo momma so fat that she could fit the entire map of the world on her body.
Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth?
Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.
Yo momma is so fat, her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.