I was reading a book one day when I suddenly heard a sound. It was the Grim Reaper. I ignored it and continued reading my book. Suddenly, I realized that I was one of the main characters, which, at the end, dies.
I used to like fireworks, but I'm dead now. Fireworks look like a charm if you don't mind something a little ghostly.
What lies beneath your nose and is being picked on? Your boogers.
Your mama's so fat when she sat on the toilet, the toilet said, "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, get your fat ass off of me!"
What do you call a dick that doesn't fit in an asshole?
A misfit.
They are hairy.
My back is straighter than I am, and I literally have scoliosis.
What's worse than sticking 12 raw oysters up your grandma's pussy and sucking them out?
Sticking 12 raw oysters up there and sucking out 13.
What's worse than waking up with a penis drawn on your face?
Finding out it was traced.
A guy stole my car last night. Before dialing 911 I thought, "Fuck it. Let him explain the dead bodies in the trunk."
I was tickling my step brother's balls, and then it hit me: why is he laughing?
Why do midgets giggle when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
Yo mama's ass is maddddd crusty!
Your mama so fat, the scale said, "Only one person at a time, please!"
What do you call a woman who aborted her quadruplets? A graveyard.
Lucky they're only balls, not real balls!
What do you call a cannibal without any eyes? A cann-bal :)
Why can’t balls move? Because no one is there to voice them around.
Hey, do you remember that dragon thing?
Draggin' these balls across your face.
So here's Uranus, where's my anus?
Yo mama so FAT... I tried to picture her in my head... AND SHE BROKE MY GOD DAMN NECK!
When you see someone with a double chin that’s sad:
Hey come on, man, keep your chin up. Wait, which one?
