I have a green ball in one hand and one in the other. What am I holding?
Shrek's dick.
Green Balls
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Explanation
Explain Bear
Listen up, buttercup. The joke plays on the setup about holding two green balls. The punchline replaces the expected answer with "Shrek's dick", relying on the similar sound of "Shrek" and "Shriek." Get it? You probably don't since you can't read!