Black Jokes

What’s heavy, black, and can’t swim?

Ted Kennedy’s Oldsmobile Delmont 88 with Mary Jo Kopechne trapped inside.

Does anyone know Wakanda movie is Black Panther?

I'm so emo, my blood is black.

I was going home and 3 guys came up to me: an Italian, a Black guy, and a Spanish guy. They said, "You should be a proud brother, your sister knows her meats." I didn't know what they were talking about. They said, "Your sister won a trophy, you will see it when you get home." I went home. My sister said, "Look, I won a trophy by knowing my meats." I said, "What do you mean?" She said, "Well, 3 guys blindfolded me and I gave them a blowjob, each one of them, and I guessed which flavor it was. I was right all the time, that's how I won my trophy." As a big brother, I couldn't be any prouder.

Comedian: If you’re racist and you know it, clap your hands.

Guy 1 & Guy 2: 👏👏

Comedian: WTF bros!

Comedian: And one of you is black and one is white. How does that work?

A cartoon image of Mike Wazowski from Monsters, Inc. is shown with a distorted background of swirling patterns in pink and yellow. The text above Mike reads, "When you stand up too fast and have to stand still for 10 seconds trying not to black out."

Why did the black guy cross the street to check King Van?

My brother likes his Vegemite so black, it stole our car.

What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite movie?

Black and white.

What’s black and rings the doorbell?

Stevie Wonder answering the iron.

Yo mama is so fat, when she sat on Black Temple, it became Sunken Temple.

What's black, blue, and red, laying in a ditch?

You after you disrespect me.

What do you call a black man with a gun? A gangsta.

What does Stephen King call his wife...

The black hole.

I went to the park full of black men. I ended up fucking 'em all.

You never told me you were part orangutan. Have you considered taking a vacation to Planet of the Apes?

Black lives matter.

“Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.”