why is the sun mad at the clouds?The clouds keep throwing shade.
Why is the Champs dElysees in Paris lined with trees? Because German soldiers like marching in the shade!
Why was the dog staying in the shade? Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!
Why did the rapper wear sunglasses to the concert?
Because his lyrics were so fire, he needed PROTECTION
Why did the rapper wear sunglasses?
To SHADE the HATERS
How do rappers stay cool during summer?
They throw SHADE
3 men where in a desert 1 man was holding a jug the 2nd was holding a paper bag and the last was holding a car door a man came around and asked the 1st why he had a jug he said it was his water and if he got thirsty he would take a drink. Then he asked the second why do you have a paper bag the guy said this is my packed lunch so if I get hungry I will eat my lunch. Then he asked the last man why he has a car door and he said it he got hot he would roll down the window.
Yo mama is so fat, she goes to the beach to sell shade.
One hot day a cow wanted some shade. He found a tree and started resting under it but there was a chicken bothering him. The cow exclaimed "Moooove", the chicken didn't move, again "Mooooove", and still the chicken wouldn't move. The cow yelled "MOOOOOVE", the chicken turned around and said "FUCKOFF".
Me and my friend were roasting each other. She said, "You look like a Reese's cup." I replied, "You're so old, your pubic hairs are 50 shades of gray."
Why is it that skinny men like fat women? Because they need warmth in winter, and shade in summer.
You watch 50 shades of gray, and you turn gray in bed.
What do you call two Mexicans having sex? 50-shades of brown.
*family are together playing charades*
Me: 50 Shades of Grey! Yes, I'm so good at charades! Put your shirt back on nan!
1 your so dumb you thing Cheerios are donut seeds! 2. Your so fat you could sell shade! 3. Your just like coconut water, nobody likes you! 4 you been shopping lately because there selling lives around the corner, you should go get one! If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence !! Are these good
What do you say if you want to borrow you black sisters foundation - got any lighter shades
How many shades of gray does it take to make a dirty movie?
50
watching 50 shades of grey was more painful then my uncle fisting me as a kid.
A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said “No pets allowed!” He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, “Just pretend you're blind!” He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left. The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, “You know your ‘guide dog’ is a chihuahua, right?” The man said, “They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!”
Say this to someone who is fat that you don't like (make sure he's a virgin) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- " You're so fat you can sell shaaade!! That's why you're a virgin and you masturbaaate!!! yeah I've see you, touching your 1 centimetre and if you have a gf she's is a cheater!!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Make sure to say "shaaade" not "shade". And say "maturbaaate" (also try to say a D not a T in maturbaaate) not "masturbate".
