Dark humor is a lot like food.
Not everyone gets it.
At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.” Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”
Why were Abraham Lincoln and John F Kennedy very wise presidents?
They both had an open mind.
20 years of sex in the dark the wife find out he was using a dildo the wife get angry and says ¨explain the dildo prick¨ the husband says ¨explain the children bitch
I’ll always remember my dads last words.... Why do you have an axe we live in the city
i hate when i lose my white friends in the snow and my black friends in the dark. where do i lose my friends from Afghanistan? in an explosion
The secret to dark humor is the delivery... oh wait, the baby was stillborn.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Must be more than 13, because my basement is still dark
tell a dark joke to an orphan then hit them
they'll get the punchline right away
Why did they invent glow in the dark condoms So gay guys can play star wars
Friend:How dark is your humor? Me:It picks cotton
What's the difference between dark humour and morbid humour?
Dark humour is 10 babys in a trash can Morbid humour is 1 baby in 10 trash cans
So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods. Boy “hey mister its getting dark out and I’m scared” Man “how do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone”
Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down
What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate
Rules of Dark humor: 1. All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits. 2. No saying "Me" or "My Life" as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes. 3. Don't Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that. I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site. - Sincerely, Zane
What's the difference between a pile of babys and a Porsche??
I don't have a Porsche in my garage
If I was an object in this world I'd be a glass! Because if you leave me when I'm too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break.
If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.
I'm a star! Because one of these days I'm going to crash and burn...
If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I'd be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.
I'm like the sun; I'm painful to look at.
If I was a food I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.
I'm like an eggshell... broken and empty.
If I was a mythical creature I'd be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.
I'm like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.
My soul is a raisin because it's dried up shriveled, and not everyone likes it.
I'm like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.
I'm like the moon because as the month progresses my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.
I'm like an Ex streamly powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.
I'm like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.
I'm like a shity book cover... because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.
My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can't afford to go through with the divorce and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape but the more they try the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety
Help me....
What's worst then finding 10 babys in 10 dumpsters??
Finding 1 baby in 10 dumpsters
Chuck Norris sleeps with the light on, not because he is afraid of the darkness, but because the darkness is afraid of him.
