Why were Abraham Lincoln and John F Kennedy very wise presidents?
They both had an open mind.
20 years of sex in the dark, the wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick." The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch."
At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.” Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”
I’ll always remember my dads last words.... Why do you have an axe we live in the city
So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods. Boy “hey mister its getting dark out and I’m scared” Man “how do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone”
Why did they invent glow-in-the-dark condoms? So gay guys can play Star Wars.
i hate when i lose my white friends in the snow and my black friends in the dark. where do i lose my friends from Afghanistan? in an explosion
Friend:How dark is your humor? Me:It picks cotton
So my parents were telling me about this dark joke they made 17 years ago, but they didn't actually tell me the joke.
Tell a dark joke to an orphan, then hit them. They'll get the punchline right away.
Two blondes fall down a well. One says to the other one, "Isn't it dark down here?" She replies, "I don't know. I can't see."
The secret to dark humor is the delivery... oh wait, the baby was stillborn.
Chuck Norris sleeps with the light on, not because he is afraid of the darkness, but because the darkness is afraid of him.
What's worst then finding 10 babys in 10 dumpsters??
Finding 1 baby in 10 dumpsters
What's the difference between dark humour and morbid humour?
Dark humour is 10 babys in a trash can Morbid humour is 1 baby in 10 trash cans
Rules of Dark humor: 1. All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits. 2. No saying "Me" or "My Life" as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes. 3. Don't Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that. I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site. - Sincerely, Zane
Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down
What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate
whats the difference between onions and babys?
i cry when i cut onions.
My grief counsellor died today. He did such a great job. I don't even care
