Beverage jokes
A man attacked me with cheese and milk. How dairy!
You know that I drink water, right? I drink water because I am water. Water is water.
Why do vampires drink blood?
Because they can't drink Bloody Marys because they are vampires.
Once I had a cat. The cat liked human beverages.
One day I decided to throw a party. The cat went over to get some soda. There was a line. I told him that he needed to wait in line. The line was too long for the cat. Then he walked to the punch bowl. He saw that there was no punch line. Very much like this joke.
Did you hear that Ted Nugent had a beer thrown at him at one of his shows?
Answer: He was okay. It was a draft, so he dodged it easily!
Memes
Cherish you chocolate milk.
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Sodapop Curtis was actual soda.
What is the difference between an emo kid and a jug of milk?
The milk doesn't hang itself after it gets dumped.
What do you call a shake? Shake ya booty!
Why did the sick juice tree go to the hospital? Because it needed lemin-ade (not the cool type of sick, the one where you are in the hospital). Lemin-ade 1st ade.
Why did the Mexican man push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila.
I like my wife like I like my coffee: so sweet, it gives me headaches.
OnlyFans, but it’s me smacking your baby daddies with Twisted Tea.
Only Cans.
I tried a lemonade from my friend. It tasted fantatastic!
You wonder where my dad is.
Meanwhile, Dad: It's good to be at milk island!
My dad had a very unfortunate accident with his death. I clearly asked for Jammy Dodgers and got Bourbons!
What do you give a sick lemon?
A lemon-aid.
What do you call getting assaulted by a gay man? Fruit punch.
Why do orphans eat their cereal with water?
Their dad never came with the milk.
Have you ever heard of horchata? Horchata, fuck up!
A man walks into a bar and orders a stiff drink. I gave him a glass of ice.