My dad had a very unfortunate accident with his death. I clearly asked for Jammy Dodgers and got Bourbons!
Beverage Jokes
What do you call getting assaulted by a gay man? Fruit punch.
What do you give a sick lemon?
A lemon-aid.
Have you ever heard of horchata? Horchata, fuck up!
Why do orphans eat their cereal with water?
Their dad never came with the milk.
Why did the sick juice tree go to the hospital? Because it needed lemin-ade (not the cool type of sick, the one where you are in the hospital). Lemin-ade 1st ade.
Why did the Mexican man push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila.
I tried a lemonade from my friend. It tasted fantatastic!
You wonder where my dad is.
Meanwhile, Dad: It's good to be at milk island!
What do you call a shake? Shake ya booty!
OnlyFans, but it’s me smacking your baby daddies with Twisted Tea.
Only Cans.
I like my wife like I like my coffee: so sweet, it gives me headaches.
Why does Royal Cola have more royalty than a queen?
Answer: It tastes better.
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Sodapop Curtis was actual soda.
What is the difference between an emo kid and a jug of milk?
The milk doesn't hang itself after it gets dumped.
Q: What’s Homer Simpson’s least favorite style of beer?
A: Flanders Red Ale.
So if I drink alcohol, you're an alcoholic. But if I drink Fanta, I’m fantastic.
A man walks into a bar and orders a stiff drink. I gave him a glass of ice.
Two muffins are sitting in a bar.
The first muffin says to the bartender, "I'll have the usual."
The second one does not say anything to the bartender because muffins lack the vocal ability of humans, and even with the proper anatomy capable of speech access, they would most certainly be entirely unable to comprehend the human language. In fact, the first muffin would indefinitely not be able to provide speech to the bartender. The muffins also lack the muscular structure to be capable of support themselves to being suspended also preventing their access to movement. Even with the human-like structure, muffins lack brains, which are an essential part of being able to send nerve contact within the legs to be able to move. Also, with them lacking a brain structure entirely prevents them from speech. The anatomy simply prohibits the food items mentioned to be able to carry out any of the tasks required to get them to said bar and be able to speak, thus making the situation untruthful and completely idiotic.
Hey, look, it's Bai! (insert the picture of a Bai drink)
