Beverage jokes
A goat drank my Red Bull, so now it's a Baphomet!
I like my women like I like my wine.
Twelve years old and tied up in my basement.
A time traveler walks into a bar.
He orders a beer and a shot of whiskey.
What was Jim Jones' favorite drink?
Killer Kool-Aid.
You know that I drink water, right? I drink water because I am water. Water is water.
oh no
Why do vampires drink blood?
Because they can't drink Bloody Marys because they are vampires.
A man attacked me with cheese and milk. How dairy!
Once I had a cat. The cat liked human beverages.
One day I decided to throw a party. The cat went over to get some soda. There was a line. I told him that he needed to wait in line. The line was too long for the cat. Then he walked to the punch bowl. He saw that there was no punch line. Very much like this joke.
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Sodapop Curtis was actual soda.
What do you call a shake? Shake ya booty!
What is the difference between an emo kid and a jug of milk?
The milk doesn't hang itself after it gets dumped.
Did you hear that Ted Nugent had a beer thrown at him at one of his shows?
Answer: He was okay. It was a draft, so he dodged it easily!
Why did the Mexican man push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila.
Why did the sick juice tree go to the hospital? Because it needed lemin-ade (not the cool type of sick, the one where you are in the hospital). Lemin-ade 1st ade.
You wonder where my dad is.
Meanwhile, Dad: It's good to be at milk island!
My dad had a very unfortunate accident with his death. I clearly asked for Jammy Dodgers and got Bourbons!
What do you give a sick lemon?
A lemon-aid.
Why do orphans eat their cereal with water?
Their dad never came with the milk.
Have you ever heard of horchata? Horchata, fuck up!
What do you call getting assaulted by a gay man? Fruit punch.