Beverage jokes
Why do vampires drink blood?
Because they can't drink Bloody Marys because they are vampires.
A man attacked me with cheese and milk. How dairy!
Once I had a cat. The cat liked human beverages.
One day I decided to throw a party. The cat went over to get some soda. There was a line. I told him that he needed to wait in line. The line was too long for the cat. Then he walked to the punch bowl. He saw that there was no punch line. Very much like this joke.
Did you hear that Ted Nugent had a beer thrown at him at one of his shows?
Answer: He was okay. It was a draft, so he dodged it easily!
My dad had a very unfortunate accident with his death. I clearly asked for Jammy Dodgers and got Bourbons!
Memes
What do you call getting assaulted by a gay man? Fruit punch.
What do you give a sick lemon?
A lemon-aid.
Have you ever heard of horchata? Horchata, fuck up!
Why do orphans eat their cereal with water?
Their dad never came with the milk.
Why did the sick juice tree go to the hospital? Because it needed lemin-ade (not the cool type of sick, the one where you are in the hospital). Lemin-ade 1st ade.
Why did the Mexican man push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila.
I tried a lemonade from my friend. It tasted fantatastic!
You wonder where my dad is.
Meanwhile, Dad: It's good to be at milk island!
What do you call a shake? Shake ya booty!
OnlyFans, but it’s me smacking your baby daddies with Twisted Tea.
Only Cans.
I like my wife like I like my coffee: so sweet, it gives me headaches.
Why does Royal Cola have more royalty than a queen?
Answer: It tastes better.
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Sodapop Curtis was actual soda.
What is the difference between an emo kid and a jug of milk?
The milk doesn't hang itself after it gets dumped.
Q: What’s Homer Simpson’s least favorite style of beer?
A: Flanders Red Ale.