Beverage jokes
I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night.
It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea.
I "onerie," or however you spell it, I like to replace all romance or similar memes with duck memes. Just comment duck memes there and change Valentine's Day to Duck Day. Also, for the joke:
Why did the duck walk up to the lemonade stand?
Because he wanted grapes.
Someone goes into a bar and asks for a blow job. The barman goes, "Me too." But then the guy goes, "I meant the drink."
I like my women like I like my wine.
Twelve years old and tied up in my basement.
A goat drank my Red Bull, so now it's a Baphomet!
A time traveler walks into a bar.
He orders a beer and a shot of whiskey.
What was Jim Jones' favorite drink?
Killer Kool-Aid.
Why do vampires drink blood?
Because they can't drink Bloody Marys because they are vampires.
A man attacked me with cheese and milk. How dairy!
You know that I drink water, right? I drink water because I am water. Water is water.
Once I had a cat. The cat liked human beverages.
One day I decided to throw a party. The cat went over to get some soda. There was a line. I told him that he needed to wait in line. The line was too long for the cat. Then he walked to the punch bowl. He saw that there was no punch line. Very much like this joke.
A man walks into a bar and orders a stiff drink. I gave him a glass of ice.
So if I drink alcohol, you're an alcoholic. But if I drink Fanta, I’m fantastic.
Q: What’s Homer Simpson’s least favorite style of beer?
A: Flanders Red Ale.
What is the difference between an emo kid and a jug of milk?
The milk doesn't hang itself after it gets dumped.
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Sodapop Curtis was actual soda.
My dad had a very unfortunate accident with his death. I clearly asked for Jammy Dodgers and got Bourbons!
I like my wife like I like my coffee: so sweet, it gives me headaches.
Why did the sick juice tree go to the hospital? Because it needed lemin-ade (not the cool type of sick, the one where you are in the hospital). Lemin-ade 1st ade.
What do you call a shake? Shake ya booty!