Beverage jokes
I was at a milk store and ordered some milk.
They brought it over but spilled it on me.
I said that was a udder failure!
Have you heard about my new can crushing job?
It's soda-pressing.
Why do you not have milk with your Oreos?
Daddy never came back with the milk.
What does Michael Jackson like to drink? Tea-he-he.
Yo mama so stupid, she stared at a bottle of orange juice for 12 hours because it said "concentrate."
What do you give a sick lemon?
Lemon-aid.
A twelve-volt battery walks into a tavern and orders a drink. The bartender serves him, and comments, "Now don't start anything."
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?
Because the dad never came with the milk.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso espresso.
What is a milk?
Milk!!!!
What do alcoholics and necrophiliacs have in common?
They both like cracking open a cold one.
James Bond: Vodka martini.
Bartender: Shaken, not stirred.
James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?
The baby water bottle said to the mommy water bottle, "Mommy, I lost my teddy bear." The mommy water bottle said, "Why don't you RECAP on what you said?"
What's a rapper's favorite drink?
RHYME-A-RITA
I had a dream of swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it is just a FANTAsea.
What do you call a funny drink?
Punch!
Yo mama so stupid... she stared at an orange juice carton because it said, "CONCENTRATE!"
How does Daveon like his coffee? Decaf-eon.
How did the coke seller react when someone told him a joke?
He CRACKed up.
Why can't I drink tea??
Because I laugh too much. TEEEEEHEHEEE