Beverage jokes
What is a frog's favorite drink?
Croaka-cola!
What do you call a black person eating chicken, watermelon, and drinking Kool-Aid?
Reality.
I am in trouble. My mum asked me to get six cans of Sprite.
But I got seven Up.
Orphan: I dip my Oreos in water.
Me: Why?
Orphan: Because my dad did not come back with the milk.
What is it called when a gay guy punches someone?
Fruit punch.
Why don't orphans drink milk?
'Cause their parents have not came back with it yet.
What do alien moms like to drink? Starbucks.
How do you get 100 babies in the back of a pick up truck? Blender.
How do you get them back out? Straw.
Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water?
"Because his dad never brought the milk."
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso espresso.
Nah, just kidding, it's bleach.
I like my coffee like my men, long and black.
Q. What do you give a sick lemon?
A. Lemon-aid.
I like my wine like how I like my women: 10 years old and locked in a basement.
I went to Starbucks today and they asked what I wanted, and I replied with "to die, a shot of bleach, and an deppresso expresso."
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to climb Mt. Dew.
What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
Reali-tea.
Russian, American, and Polish stood by the lake shore.
Russian ran ahead to dive and yelled "vodka" and the lake changed into vodka.
Polish ran ahead to dive and yelled "beer" and the lake changed into beer.
American ran to dive, slipped, and said, "oh shit."
What do an open champagne bottle and an orphan have in common? They both lost their pop.
I like my lovers like I like my whiskey, 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
Stormtrooper: What should we do with this coffee?
Palpatine: Brew it!