Beverage jokes

So if I drink alcohol, you're an alcoholic. But if I drink Fanta, I’m fantastic.

A man walks into a bar and orders a stiff drink. I gave him a glass of ice.

Two muffins are sitting in a bar.

The first muffin says to the bartender, "I'll have the usual."

The second one does not say anything to the bartender because muffins lack the vocal ability of humans, and even with the proper anatomy capable of speech access, they would most certainly be entirely unable to comprehend the human language. In fact, the first muffin would indefinitely not be able to provide speech to the bartender. The muffins also lack the muscular structure to be capable of support themselves to being suspended also preventing their access to movement. Even with the human-like structure, muffins lack brains, which are an essential part of being able to send nerve contact within the legs to be able to move. Also, with them lacking a brain structure entirely prevents them from speech. The anatomy simply prohibits the food items mentioned to be able to carry out any of the tasks required to get them to said bar and be able to speak, thus making the situation untruthful and completely idiotic.

Hey, look, it's Bai! (insert the picture of a Bai drink)

Ayo imagine having a chocolate fountain, but instead it cost a billion dollars a gallon and you have a hundred thousands, that number will never equate to how many porno magazines and alcoholic beverages and malty liquors stolen from my brother's bedroom as a desperate attempt at being edgy. Ayo, maybe instead of the future cars being powered by petroleum oil and gas, but with hot chocolate.

My mom walks in a bar and the bartender says "water?" saying "we only sell beer!"

Pick up line for girls with the last name "Berg":

"I may be a tall glass of whiskey, but I'm nothing without a few ice Bergs."

I like my coffee like my men, long and black.

I asked my sister to get me a cup of fruit punch. I realized she was taking a bit so I walk to the kitchen and noticed that she spilled it on herself. I asked her, "How did you do that?" but there was no response.

What kind of tea is hard to swallow?

Reality.

Why did the orphan like milk?

Because their parents went to get milk and never came back!

- All over it like a fat kid on a cupcake.

- Giggling like a room full of fat kids.

- Drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 8 beers and 3 shots in 3 hours goes down like a fat kid on a seesaw.

"Among Us" tea water.

What's a ghost's favorite drink?

Ghoul-aid!

I made someone a PB and J sandwich... they died.

Have you heard about my new can crushing job?

It's soda-pressing.

Hey, guy, you suck! Why do I suck? Because you're the one that's sucking juice out of a straw.

How can you tell when a female became a rape victim? She crossed herself out, hanging by with a Carlton dry.

My dick wants to buy you a beer. 🍺

When orphans drink milk, they cry.