Beverage jokes

Oh, he needs some milk!

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a drink and a mop.

“Huh, I wonder why he needs a mop?”

One day me and my friend Howard the duck went into the bar. I ordered a drink. Howard told the waiter to put it on his... BILL.

Why did the fruit punch say "What's sup?"

He was so naughty!

What do you call a frozen Band-Aid?

Cool-Aid!

Coffee has been the grounds of many a heated and strong discussion.

He asked for a shot of beer?

He got shot and killed.

A husband and wife at custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex-wife.

Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?"

Ex-wife: "I brought him into this world, so I should have custody of him."

Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason."

Then the judge looks toward the ex-husband.

Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?"

The ex-husband thought long and hard about his response. After a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out, is it mine or the machine's?"

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