Beverage jokes

I made someone a PB and J sandwich... they died.

Hey, guy, you suck! Why do I suck? Because you're the one that's sucking juice out of a straw.

How can you tell when a female became a rape victim? She crossed herself out, hanging by with a Carlton dry.

My dick wants to buy you a beer. 🍺

When orphans drink milk, they cry.

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a drink and a mop.

“Huh, I wonder why he needs a mop?”

One day me and my friend Howard the duck went into the bar. I ordered a drink. Howard told the waiter to put it on his... BILL.

Oh, he needs some milk!

Why did the fruit punch say "What's sup?"

He was so naughty!

What do you call a frozen Band-Aid?

Cool-Aid!

Coffee has been the grounds of many a heated and strong discussion.

He asked for a shot of beer?

He got shot and killed.

A husband and wife at custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex-wife.

Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?"

Ex-wife: "I brought him into this world, so I should have custody of him."

Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason."

Then the judge looks toward the ex-husband.

Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?"

The ex-husband thought long and hard about his response. After a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out, is it mine or the machine's?"

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