Beverage jokes
Yesterday, a guy threw a liter of milk at me.
How dairy!
What did the full glass say to the empty glass? "You look drunk!"
Little Johnny said he wanted a coffee, so his mom said he can have one.
He got an espresso, not knowing "depresso" came with it.
What did the grape say when it was stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
There was a Cheerio that had a job. He worked hard at it, and the boss came up and promoted him to the vice president of the Cheerios. So he needed a speech. He kept practicing and practicing and now he was thirsty. It was almost time for his speech, so he went to the drinking fountain, but there was a huge line. So he went to the lake, but he saw tons of garbage and what he thought was a cereal killer. So he found this bowl of punch, but he realized... there was no punchline.
Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water?
"Because his dad never brought the milk."
Yo, look, they give me and my girl free pizza and a big bottle of rabbit wine. Yay, yay! Don't drink too much of it; you might turn into a wine rabbit.
Chuck Norris orders his coffee black, without water.
Iron jug.
A priest walks into a bar, immediately orders the kids' menu.
Q. What do you give a sick lemon?
A. Lemon-aid.
Miss Stephen likes kids like she likes wine: 15 years and in isolation.
Ayo imagine having a chocolate fountain, but instead it cost a billion dollars a gallon and you have a hundred thousands, that number will never equate to how many porno magazines and alcoholic beverages and malty liquors stolen from my brother's bedroom as a desperate attempt at being edgy. Ayo, maybe instead of the future cars being powered by petroleum oil and gas, but with hot chocolate.
What's the king of all school supplies? A ruler.
What's a flower's favorite drink at the movie theater? Root Beer.
What's a cow's favorite place to go during his free time? The Moooovies.
Why are S and U never thirsty?
They drink tea (T).
What do superheroes put in their drinks?
Just ice.
What’s a rapper’s favorite kind of SODA?
Dr. Dre Pepper.
How do you call Doom guy that drinks Monster Zero? Boom guy!
Why does the orphan have water with its cereal?
Their dad never came back with the milk.
Yo mama is so dumb that she tried to climb Mountain Dew.