Beverage jokes
What do you call getting assaulted by a gay man? Fruit punch.
I like my wife like I like my coffee: so sweet, it gives me headaches.
Have you ever heard of horchata? Horchata, fuck up!
Why are Russians forced to drink grizzly bear piss in Russia?
Because vodka in Russia is weak.
What's the difference between Captain Morgan and Amy Winehouse?
Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke.
Say the drive through at McDonald's, order (don't say the sake) but when you get it ask them, "My sake?" and say, "Sake that ass."
Yo mama so stupid, she went to Dr. Pepper for a check up.
What's a darts player's favorite drink? One hundred and eight-tea!
Why did the Mexican man push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila.
I may not be your cup of tea, but I am definitely your 10th shot of tequila.
Blake drinks Coke.
OnlyFans, but it’s me smacking your baby daddies with Twisted Tea.
Only Cans.
- All over it like a fat kid on a cupcake.
- Giggling like a room full of fat kids.
- Drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 8 beers and 3 shots in 3 hours goes down like a fat kid on a seesaw.
What do women and wine bottles have in common?
They both have necks for grabbing, and holes to plug and unplug.
What did the grape say to the rapper?
"You're so VINE, you must be on the JUICE!"
What is the sweat between Dolly Parton's boobs?
Mountain Dew.
Why do orphans eat their cereal with water?
Their dad never came with the milk.
So what does stress and energy mean?
Beer.
Friend: You know how I like my women like my coffee... hot.
Me: What if you don't like coffee? :(
Milk (DYM 115).