Shake jokes
I will always remember my grandpa's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
WTF?
Take a water bottle, shake it, you got piss.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"What are you shaking for? She’s going to eat me!"
Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks, “A Bloody Mary?”
The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water for me.”
“Hot water?”
“I found a tampon out back and want to make tea.”
Kamala Harris is so ugly that Joe Biden is shaking hands with invisible people!
"If you can make them laugh and giggle, you can make their booty shake and jiggle."
Your mom's ass is so petite and big, I'd pound that till the Earth shakes.
"Clap clap clap that ass, bitch, shake that cameltoe, let them see them pussy lips!"
What do you get when a dog that is actually a Weeto is caught in an earthquake?
Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy!
How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!
I throw a flashbang in a room full of epileptics...
They were shaking in excitement!
Why did Bella Thorne pass gas on "Shake It Up Chicago?" Because I gave her too split pea soup for breakfast.
If cancer was a person I’d shake their hand and say: "Thank you for your service."
Sorry if it’s too far, but don’t come here if you can’t take it.
A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse's pain to the father's nervous system.
He agrees and the doctors turn the dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby and the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.
It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom.
He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store."
But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH!" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19-year-old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?"
Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing."
Johnny says, "Oh. But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"
(Santa winks at you)
They said that new Juice WRLD album was shakin' good....
When recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it.
Conversely, you can recycle a condom quite easily: just turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it.
The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii. Then I met my girl Zendaya on board. She was shaking her ass and playing with her penis. Then she asked me, "Hey, you wanna make love in the cabin?" I said, "Sure, sweet thang," gave me her number, kissed me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.
A man walks into the taxidermist with two monkeys. The taxidermist asked if he wanted them mounted. The man said, "No. Shaking hands will be fine."