Best jokes

Hey Gwen, listen, I know you're on this app, fake or not. I love you either way. Please find this faker and finish her off for what she's done, real Gwen.

*You're a real best Gwen*

What's the best finger for fingering A minor?

What’s the best form of contraception?

Being a soccer fan.

Roses are red and violets are blue, my best friend is Sue, and she's blue, too.

(meaning sad)

Q: What did the person who invented the door knocker get?

A: A no-bell prize.

Americans prefer houses with basements. In fact, they're best cellars!

My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.

What’s the best part of having sex with a pregnant woman?

You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.

A young cowboy entered a seedy cafe in a small West Texas town.

He sat at the counter and spotted an elderly cowboy with his arms folded and his gaze fixed on a bowl of chili. After roughly 15 minutes of staring at it, the young cowboy boldly inquired, “If you’re not going to eat it, do you mind if I do?” Slowly turning his head toward the young wrangler, the older cowboy muttered, in his best cowboy voice, “Nah. Go ahead.”

The young cowboy eagerly reached over and slid the bowl over to his spot, spooning it in with glee. He was almost to the bottom when he noticed a rotten dead rat in the chili.

The sight was shocking, and he immediately upchucked the chili into the bowl. The old cowboy quietly said, “Yep, that’s as far as I got, too...”

My girlfriend passed away recently.

At the funeral, everyone was shocked about it.

Still, even when dead, she is the best shag I've ever known.

People in 1 Ad: I bet we will have the best technology ever in 2023.

2023: GO BACK NOW! THERE'S 50 THOUSAND GENDERS, DUMB GEN Z, TIK TOK, WE NEED JESUS!

What is the best part about eating cake? Your mom.

I would tell a pussy joke, but you would never get it.

What’s the best kind of candy to offer at a Pride parade?

Skittles.

Let me tell you how I escaped Iraq. Iran! (;)

I love you.

VOTING FINAL This vote is for the best School Shooter joke of the month.

LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.

DISLIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.

Vote for the better joke and the Joke of the Month will be announced in the comments tomorrow.

The best and worst part about being bi:

Best: Double the love, double the fun.

Worst: Double the love, double the loneliness.

I was walking with my black best friend, and he was meeting my parents, and after I got there, they said, "Who's this?" I said, "Well, I own him."

Your hair and your hairline must be best friends, 'cause they go waaaaay back!