Premium jokes

What does the + sign stand for in LGBTQ+?

It’s the premium version of gay.

What does LGBTQ+ mean? Is it the premium version of GAY?

Yeah man, you watch Pornhub, and you have premium too, but at least I don't need Premium to see your mom in bed.

What did Mrs. Hotdog join after Mr. Hotdog joined LGBBQ+? The LGBBQ++ premium.

I heard an Uber from your eyebrows to your hairline is like $40.

An American woman married a British man. On their honeymoon, the British husband said, "You look like a million pounds!" The wife divorced him.

Three men are outside Heaven's gates waiting to go through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them, "Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven."

The first guy says, "I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times." The angel gives him an old model pick up. The second guy says, "11 years and only once," and is granted a Mercedes.

The last man says, "20 years and not once. I loved her with all my heart," and with the angel impressed, he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later, the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says, "I know we are dead, but it could be much worse."

The guy looks up and says, "How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard!"

Have you heard about the guy whose friends teased him because he pays for sex? He doesn't pay anymore.

My bank loves me. They told me my credit card balance is outstanding.