Best jokes
What is the best part about eating cake? Your mom.
I would tell a pussy joke, but you would never get it.
What’s the best part about raping a blind girl? She’ll never see you coming.
Let me tell you how I escaped Iraq. Iran! (;)
I love you.
Walt what?
VOTING FINAL This vote is for the best School Shooter joke of the month.
LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.
DISLIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
Vote for the better joke and the Joke of the Month will be announced in the comments tomorrow.
Osama Bin Laden was trying to give me relationship advice.
Probably wasn't the best time to say "OK Boomer."
My last best man's speech was like the marriage--short, occasionally funny, and ultimately ruined by the bridesmaid.
How can you tell your best friend is gay?
His meat tastes like shit.
Your hair and your hairline must be best friends, 'cause they go waaaaay back!
“Which tool,” Andrea Bocelli asks Chris Doemges, “fits best in the mailbox?”
Doemges: “Probably the flathead screwdriver!”
My best friend is black. It really pissed me off when my mom sold him.
The best and worst part about being bi:
Best: Double the love, double the fun.
Worst: Double the love, double the loneliness.
I was walking with my black best friend, and he was meeting my parents, and after I got there, they said, "Who's this?" I said, "Well, I own him."
Should I kill the main character's best friends in my book? It's an autobiography.
When's the best day to get the chair? Fry-day.
I was sitting in class, and the teacher said he wasn't disappointed in me and my best friend, but not so much in me.
I looked at my best friend and said, "I'm a disappointment to the teacher, too."
The best football game was the Jets against the Twin Towers.
My dad died in 9/11. He was the best pilot I have ever seen, though.
The orphan's best friend wanted to meet his family, so he took a selfie.