Best jokes
What's the best song to sing to George Floyd?
"I Will Survive," by Gloria Gaynor.
I would tell a pussy joke, but you would never get it.
Let me tell you how I escaped Iraq. Iran! (;)
I love you.
What’s the best part about raping a blind girl? She’ll never see you coming.
Walt what?
VOTING FINAL This vote is for the best School Shooter joke of the month.
LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.
DISLIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
Vote for the better joke and the Joke of the Month will be announced in the comments tomorrow.
My best friend is black. It really pissed me off when my mom sold him.
“Which tool,” Andrea Bocelli asks Chris Doemges, “fits best in the mailbox?”
Doemges: “Probably the flathead screwdriver!”
The best and worst part about being bi:
Best: Double the love, double the fun.
Worst: Double the love, double the loneliness.
My last best man's speech was like the marriage--short, occasionally funny, and ultimately ruined by the bridesmaid.
Osama Bin Laden was trying to give me relationship advice.
Probably wasn't the best time to say "OK Boomer."
How can you tell your best friend is gay?
His meat tastes like shit.
So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a boogie in it!
Why is the iPhone X best for orphans?
There is no home button.
Your hair and your hairline must be best friends, 'cause they go waaaaay back!
I was walking with my black best friend, and he was meeting my parents, and after I got there, they said, "Who's this?" I said, "Well, I own him."
My grandpa was the best soldier ever. He gunned down over 100 soldiers in his bunker during D-Day.
We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.
But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.
I pushed my best friend's chair in class. Now I kinda feel bad that he was in a wheelchair.