Best jokes
The best and worst part about being bi:
Best: Double the love, double the fun.
Worst: Double the love, double the loneliness.
“Which tool,” Andrea Bocelli asks Chris Doemges, “fits best in the mailbox?”
Doemges: “Probably the flathead screwdriver!”
My last best man's speech was like the marriage--short, occasionally funny, and ultimately ruined by the bridesmaid.
Osama Bin Laden was trying to give me relationship advice.
Probably wasn't the best time to say "OK Boomer."
The best football game was the Jets against the Twin Towers.
Memes
Should I kill the main character's best friends in my book? It's an autobiography.
I was sitting in class, and the teacher said he wasn't disappointed in me and my best friend, but not so much in me.
I looked at my best friend and said, "I'm a disappointment to the teacher, too."
What does an emo kid say to his best friend?
"Let's hang out."
How can you tell your best friend is gay?
His meat tastes like shit.
Food makers are proudly presenting human flesh-made foods. Donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives.
T and C apply. This is only in the best shops in your town, or down the road, or in your country. 1 like = 1 family member donated 'cause we're saving lives😎😎
What’s the best part of fucking Noor’s vulva (btw Noor is black)? If my dick is right beside Mara’s vulva (btw Mara’s white and so am I).
Your hair and your hairline must be best friends, 'cause they go waaaaay back!
My dad died in 9/11. He was the best pilot I have ever seen, though.
So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a boogie in it!
Why is the iPhone X best for orphans?
There is no home button.
I pushed my best friend's chair in class. Now I kinda feel bad that he was in a wheelchair.
What's America's best class?
Gun 101.
My grandpa was the best soldier ever. He gunned down over 100 soldiers in his bunker during D-Day.
The orphan's best friend wanted to meet his family, so he took a selfie.