Best jokes
What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.
Guys, we shouldn't make jokes about 9/11. My dad was a victim.
He was the best pilot in Arab.
My best friend looked at my arms and said, "Stop, sh*t, it's bad," then turns right around and says, "You look like a tiger."
So from here on out I am now Finn, the self-harming tiger.
My uncle died in the 9/11 attacks. He was the best pilot I had ever met.
I don't like it when people make 9/11 jokes. My dad was in it.
He was the best damn pilot in Saudi Arabia.
Lemme just say one thing:
Depression is not funny. Two of my best friends have it, and it's actually quite hard to watch them suffer with it. They cry all the time, they get upset all the time, they either have wanted to or still do want to kill themselves. It's really not funny to joke about depression.
One of my family members died on 9/11, he was one of the best pilots in the Middle East.
My friends were really annoying me at my birthday party, so I decided to pop a balloon to spook them.
Maybe going on a hot air balloon ride wasn't the best idea.
The best quote by Kim Jong Un:
"Meeting girl in park is good, but parking meat in girl is better."
Why is Johnson’s baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?
- No more tears.
So put your best face on everybody, pretend you know this song everybody.
*pulls out noose* "COME HANG!"
*pulls out gun* Let's go out with a bang... Bang- *gunshot*
So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.
What's the best part about duck tape?
It turns "No, no, no!" into "Mmmm, mmmmm, mmmmm!"
It makes it real easy to get to home base on that first date, too.
Best friend makes joke about 9/11.
Me: My pop was a part of that!
Best friend: So sorry!
Me: My pop was the pilot of the plane, he flew through 89 floors.
What's the best way to get an emo out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
A high school student and his best friend were rushing to class after his best friend caused them both to be late. His best friend asked, "Would you like to hear a joke?" "Sure," he replied. "What do you and your sister have in common?" "I don't know." "Because of me you're both late for your next period."
What's a good way to masturbate?
Get somebody to do it for you.
What’s the best thing about making out with dead girls?
They can’t say no.
Okay, what do you call that purple thing in your mom's top dresser drawer that she calls her best best friend for some weird reason?
Dad better look out from Bob, battery-operated boyfriend, hahaha!
What's the best way to get ten babies in a bowl? A blender. What's the best way to get them out? A blender.