Stop making 9/11 jokes, my father died in a plane crash
Best pilot in Saudi Arabia
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9!
That’s the best I’ve done so far.
What’s a similarity between your best friend and a tree? They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.
Why did Mozart kill all his chickens? When he asked who the best composer was they all replied, “Bach, Bach, Bach.”
There’s a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard, the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, “People need me for my medical skills.” grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, “People need me for my intelligence.” grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, “I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute.” The nerd says, “Don’t worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack.”
A man goes to the library to find the best book about committing suicide. So when he asks the librarian, “What’s the best book on committing suicide?” The librarian said, “Oh f... off…you won’t bring it back anyway.”