Best jokes
Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?
Because every time she sang the line “fire away,” someone started shooting!
What is the best type of bath bomb?
A toaster.
I bet China can be the best baseball team. They took out the entire world with just a bat.
What's the best part of dating a homeless girl?
You can drop her off anywhere.
What is the best way to run away from home?
Join the military.
this is a real political slogan
Why is September 11th the best birthday? Because no one ever forgets it!
What’s the best Marvel villain song EVER?
It Was Agatha All Along!!! *gasp* And I killed Sparky, too. *laughs manically*
What's the best competition to do with an orphan?
Which orphan had their parent for the longest?
What is the best way to keep dogs out of the street?
Put them in a barking lot!
See, this is the best thing about no such thing as vampires because I'd be the first person to say drinks are on me.
The best thing about an orphan? They don’t have to suffer from "your mama" jokes.
Best way to stop a fight between deaf people?
Just turn off the lights.
Where is the best place to eat tacos?
In the Gulp of Mexico.
The best joke: you. O wait, I can't even say that because jokes have meaning.
I like dicks... sporting goods.
Mr. Smith: Neona, tell us what you have for the biggest competition that we can do to keep our competitors out of the winning streak?
Neona: Will thought we used more sales and more advertising.
Mr. Smith: It's already a good idea. Now what about the business plan? We need it as recommendations to keep the business going. Tell me, what do you have in mind?
Neona: It is better to always have a plan. I was thinking that we can get higher prices and always get great deals. The people will go nuts for a great deal!
Mr. Smith: Perfect. Now let's take a 5 minute break.
Mr. Smith: Ok, 5 minutes is up! Now Neona, I know you are an intern, but what are the best things we can do for the company?
Neona: Hmm...let's see...will we can start with all the things people love! If this is going to work then we have have to......
What is the best part of a turkey? The drumstick!
The best part about being a medical student is, you will never run out of jokes.
Why are emo kids the best jumpers?
Because they never fall down.
What's the best thing about a prostitute dying on you during sex?
The second hour is free.