Where do ducks poop out of?
From their buttquack.
What’s the best thing about fucking twenty-eight year olds?
There’s twenty of them!
A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Little Johnny says “I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best b*tch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day.”
The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. “And you, Susie?” the teacher asks. Susie says “I wanna be Johnny’s b*tch.”
If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.
What’s the best part about putting a baby in a blender feet first?
Watching their expression change.
I'll never forget my boss's last words: "We shall serve the best meat in our burgers!"
Hey Gwen, listen, I know you're on this app, fake or not. I love you either way. Please find this faker and finish her off for what she's done, real Gwen.
*You're a real best Gwen*
Why do orphans make the best girlfriends?
Because they don't need permission from their parents.
What's the best finger for fingering A minor?
What’s the best form of contraception?
Being a soccer fan.
One of my family members died on 9/11, he was one of the best pilots in the Middle East.
The best part about Poland 🇵🇱 is that the police lights are different.
What’s the best cure for not wanting to go to work?
Suicide.
What's the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
Q: What did the person who invented the door knocker get?
A: A no-bell prize.
What's the best thing about Switzerland? The flag is a big plus.
What’s the best part of having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.
Americans prefer houses with basements. In fact, they're best cellars!
My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.
A young cowboy entered a seedy cafe in a small West Texas town.
He sat at the counter and spotted an elderly cowboy with his arms folded and his gaze fixed on a bowl of chili. After roughly 15 minutes of staring at it, the young cowboy boldly inquired, “If you’re not going to eat it, do you mind if I do?” Slowly turning his head toward the young wrangler, the older cowboy muttered, in his best cowboy voice, “Nah. Go ahead.”
The young cowboy eagerly reached over and slid the bowl over to his spot, spooning it in with glee. He was almost to the bottom when he noticed a rotten dead rat in the chili.
The sight was shocking, and he immediately upchucked the chili into the bowl. The old cowboy quietly said, “Yep, that’s as far as I got, too...”
