Best jokes
When you find out your wife had a miscarriage,
So you start singing "It’s the best day ever!"
A young cowboy entered a seedy cafe in a small West Texas town.
He sat at the counter and spotted an elderly cowboy with his arms folded and his gaze fixed on a bowl of chili. After roughly 15 minutes of staring at it, the young cowboy boldly inquired, “If you’re not going to eat it, do you mind if I do?” Slowly turning his head toward the young wrangler, the older cowboy muttered, in his best cowboy voice, “Nah. Go ahead.”
The young cowboy eagerly reached over and slid the bowl over to his spot, spooning it in with glee. He was almost to the bottom when he noticed a rotten dead rat in the chili.
The sight was shocking, and he immediately upchucked the chili into the bowl. The old cowboy quietly said, “Yep, that’s as far as I got, too...”
As an older brother, I always gave my little sister advice. I always said to do your best and never quit. So one day I went to her room. I see my sister giving married men blow jobs.
I ask what are you doing? The married men said she is giving us blow jobs because our wives don't do it. My sister said you told me to do your best, and my best is to suck them dry. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder.
LEGO Ninjago - I like it, okay?
Which of the ninja would be best for an undercover mission as the person in disguise?
Kai. He just has to leave his hair down and no one would know it was him. He uses hair gel, as Cole has said a couple times I think, because his hair looks like fire 🔥!
I asked my friend what the best gay joke is, and she said "You."
"When is the best time to commit suicide?"
Ate a Glock in the morning.
I'm Asian and there is a saying that dogs are man's best friends. They are my best friends because they keep me from starving.
I found the best GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-get-the-time-machine.
What is the best thing about being back?
Free bullets.
Best emoji: 🫃
When does a computer function best? When it listens to its motherboard.
My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.
What's it like to have the best daughter in the world? You'll have to ask grandma!
What’s the best air to breathe if you want to be rich? Millionaire.
Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?
Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.
A man finds out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees.
Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says, “I can save you $100!”
What kind of man would be a lesbian's best friend? A decimen.
What shoe shop would be a lesbian's best friend, decimen?
People in 1 Ad: I bet we will have the best technology ever in 2023.
2023: GO BACK NOW! THERE'S 50 THOUSAND GENDERS, DUMB GEN Z, TIK TOK, WE NEED JESUS!
Ching chong kading dong.
(My best words ever used).