Best jokes
About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."
What’s the best part about fucking a dead bitch?
You don’t need consent.
What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?
Slick her hair, she looks 15.
What is the best joke of all time?
Feminism.
My best friend is transgender; she transitioned from a man into a woman. I think it's courageous of her to take a pay cut like that.
What’s the best thing about making out with dead girls?
They can’t say no.
My girlfriend used to give the best blowjobs, then she grew teeth.
Why do butts always win at poker?
They always hold the best PAIRS!
Why do asses make the best detectives?
They always crack the case!
Why do rappers make great fishermen?
They always have the best HOOKS.
A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.
His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"
The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."
What is George Floyd’s best pick up line?
"You're breathtaking."
My best friend was recently gunned down in a drive-by shooting and died a virgin, but he wasn’t buried one.
Frank: "I am named Frank because my grandpa lived in Frankfurt during his best years."
Finley: "I am named Finley because my grandmother was in Finland during her early twenties!"
Mia: "Can we please change the subject?"
Jill goes home one night with a guy she met at a club. He's tall, super hot, and seems different than most guys she meets. They arrive at his place and head straight to his room. Jill can't help but notice a shelf full of teddy bears. On the bottom are small teddy bears, on the middle are medium-sized teddy bears, and finally, on the top are large teddy bears, all lined up beside each other.
She begins to think that he is sentimental and sweet, and isn't afraid to show it. Her heart melts and she want to give him the best night of his life. She gives him a blowjob, and lets him really give it to her, and even takes it in the rear! In the morning, she slowly gets dressed, and smiles at him and asks, "How was that?" He nods and says, "Not too fuckin' bad at all. Help yourself to a prize on the second shelf!"
Why did the rapper become a fisherman?
Because he wanted to reel in the BEST HOOKS.
God creates dog.
God: "You are man's best friend."
Dog: "That's pretty sexist."
God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"
Dog: "....."
God: "And chocolate kills you!"
Dog: "🐶"
If LAUGHTER is the best medicine, BLESSEDBRIAN'S JOKES are the disease.
What's the best thing about a prostitute dying on you during sex?
The second hour is free.
What is the best part about Alabama prostitutes?
Family comes first.