Belief jokes
Jesus got rejected. A few years later, he died. He came back just to lose his virginity because even Jesus is not a fucking cunt.
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi? Because they can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One makes you believe in Heaven, the other makes you feel it.
How do you make holy water?
You take normal water and boil the hell out of it.
When you want to commit suicide, just say "Allahu Akbar," there will definitely be a blast.
Why do orphans come to me?
'Cause they have someone to call "father."
If you have an Autistic child, don't worry. Put your trust in God and pray it gets kidnapped.
Why did nobody believe the little girl who got raped?
She said a monster attacked her.
What do the initials BIBLE stand for?
"Bullshit In Book Lacking Evidence."
What's the difference between God and Ron DeSantis?
God does not think he is Ron DeSantis.
Religion... That is all.
If your parents ever accuse you of lying... Say, "You're the one who told me about Santa Claus!"
Hi guys, I have a brain teaser for you! Leave it in the comment section if you figure it out. Here you go!
If you kill yourself (suicide which is technically murder), will you go to Heaven or Hell? Because you murdered yourself, but what if you were a Christian?
That was my brain teaser for you guys! Make sure you leave what you came up with for the answer in the comment section below!! PEACE OUT!!!! :)
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Heaven.
Heaven who?
Heaven fun over there?
Believe in unicorns, and they'll believe in you!
I believe "Self-Baptism" is a nice way of saying "Failed Suicide Attempt."
What does B.I.B.L.E stand for?
Bullshit In Book Lacking Evidence.
Why do people think Jesus is going to come back? He wasn’t nailed to a fucking boomerang!
They say we will have eternal life when Jesus is no longer coming.
How did Jesus kill himself?
He fell from his bike.
How many times did he die?
Once on a bike and once when he fell from a cloud in Heaven.