BlessedBrian jokes

BlessedBrian's autobiography would be titled "The Adventure of Watching Paint Dry."

I would roast BlessedBrian, but it seems LIFE already did a thorough job.

BlessedBrian’s mom’s birth certificate is a COLLECTOR’S ITEM.

Blessed Brian, your secrets are safe with me... because I wasn’t listening when you told them.

BlessedBrian's family reunions must be like a casting call for the Addams Family.

BlessedBrian must have been born on April Fools’ Day... because he’s a joke every day of the year.

I'd call BlessedBrian a tool, but at least a tool serves a purpose.

If brains were dynamite, BLESSEDBRIAN wouldn't have enough to blow his nose.

I'm surprised BLESSEDBRIAN can fit through the door, considering how INFLATED his ego is.

If BlessedBrian were any more two-faced, he’d be a Rubik’s Cube.

BlessedBrian is always stupid, but he’s been making a SPECIAL EFFORT recently.

BLESSEDBRIAN is the reason they invented the mute button.

If BlessedBrian were ANY LESS intelligent, he’d have to be WATERED twice a week.

I've seen more depth in a kiddie pool than in BLESSEDBRIAN’s jokes.

It's amazing how BLESSEDBRIAN manages to keep his head in the clouds while his FEET are FIRMLY PLANTED in mediocrity.

I'd insult BlessedBrian, but it seems NATURE beat me to it.

If ignorance is bliss, BLESSEDBRIAN must be the happiest person alive.

BlessedBrian's face is like a mood ring... it turns blue whenever I'M around.

Somewhere out there, a tree is tirelessly producing oxygen for BLESSEDBRIAN. I think he owes it an apology.

If LAUGHTER is the best medicine, BLESSEDBRIAN'S JOKES are the disease.