Behavior jokes
I walked up to 2 people kissing and stared.
After a little while, they asked me if I minded. I said no, I don’t mind.
Why do lions always lose at poker?
Because they always play against cheetahs.
What is the difference between an emo and a normal person?
An emo slits.
What are you doing, son? It has been an hour, and you are still in front of the mirror closing your eyes.
Mum, actually I want to see how I look while sleeping...
When the emo kid looks at you and says, "Fuck you," run!
Why do men say funny things? Just to be silly!
Be nice.
How do you get a squirrel's attention? Act like a nut.
You text someone to ask them why they snobbed you. Then they snob you again.
What does your mom say when she is working?
Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.
What's your mom and a dog got in common?
Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.
What’s one thing a man can do that a woman can’t?
Sit down and shut up.
BlessedBrian is always stupid, but he’s been making a SPECIAL EFFORT recently.
Mom: Don't forget to unload the dishwasher.
Mom: Did you finish your homework?
Mom: We are going to your grandmother's house for Thanksgiving.
Mom: Dad and I talked. We are getting a new car next month.
Son: You are?? Oh my gosh, thank you!
Mom: No, I was just making sure you were getting my texts.
Son: That was cruel!
You can tell if a woman is angry if she is holding a gun.
What's black and white and red all over?
The darkness of your heart, the dishonor of your lies, and the embarrassment you feel when busted for both.
Your mama is so stupid. We were playing catch, and I told her to go deep. She grabbed a shovel and dug a hole.
Your mama smells so bad that everytime she goes outside, she gets ticketed for pollution. She's so ugly that everytime she looks out a window, she gets arrested for mooning.
You was reaching into you’re backpack and the whole class jumped through the window.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It felt like it.