Behavior jokes
I love punching orphans. What are they gonna do? Tell their mum?
What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?
"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"
Addison Banks Age (8)
"I'm a little brat who won't shut the hell up! And stop talking!"
Girls being 14, look 18, act 21.
Boys 21, look 18 and act 14.
Pee pee poo poo wall.
If you're ever bored, just bully an orphan. What are they gonna do? Cry to their mama and father?
Me: *opens a bag of hot Cheetos in class*
All my friends: Hey bro, can I have some?
People I don't know: Please lemme have some. PLEASE, I'll be your best friend!
People I say no to: (⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)
"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"
A man walks into a bar... and he never walks out.
A: It’s very delicious! Great! Fantastic!
B: Thank you.
A: People don’t speak when they eat delicious foods!
Is your tap water running well?
Beta, go catch it!
I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."
What are you doing, son? It has been an hour, and you are still in front of the mirror closing your eyes.
Mum, actually I want to see how I look while sleeping...
Why do lions always lose at poker?
Because they always play against cheetahs.
What is the difference between an emo and a normal person?
An emo slits.
I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.
Your mama is so stupid, Patrick Starr ran away because he thought she might be contagious.
Mom: Don't forget to unload the dishwasher.
Mom: Did you finish your homework?
Mom: We are going to your grandmother's house for Thanksgiving.
Mom: Dad and I talked. We are getting a new car next month.
Son: You are?? Oh my gosh, thank you!
Mom: No, I was just making sure you were getting my texts.
Son: That was cruel!
Some people are such "treasures" that you just want to bury them.
I'm what they call a ✨️askhole✨️.
A person who will consistently ask for your advice and wisdom, but then proceed to do the exact opposite of what you say.