Behavior jokes
Bully: Shut up, motherfucker!
Me: Well, stop talking to me and I won't have to keep fucking your mother.
I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.
How many emos does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they just sit and cry in the dark.
What does your mom say when she is working?
Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.
BlessedBrian is always stupid, but he’s been making a SPECIAL EFFORT recently.
Your mama is so stupid, Patrick Starr ran away because he thought she might be contagious.
Why did the kidnapper cross the road?
To get the kids at the playground.
What's your mom and a dog got in common?
Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.
I walked up to 2 people kissing and stared.
After a little while, they asked me if I minded. I said no, I don’t mind.
Stop bullying.
When the emo kid looks at you and says, "Fuck you," run!
Be nice.
Why do men say funny things? Just to be silly!
A man walks into a bar... and he never walks out.
I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."
Why do lions always lose at poker?
Because they always play against cheetahs.
What is the difference between an emo and a normal person?
An emo slits.
Mom: Don't forget to unload the dishwasher.
Mom: Did you finish your homework?
Mom: We are going to your grandmother's house for Thanksgiving.
Mom: Dad and I talked. We are getting a new car next month.
Son: You are?? Oh my gosh, thank you!
Mom: No, I was just making sure you were getting my texts.
Son: That was cruel!
I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.
You're like a cat, all you do is eat and sleep.