Behavior jokes
"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"
Me: *opens a bag of hot Cheetos in class*
All my friends: Hey bro, can I have some?
People I don't know: Please lemme have some. PLEASE, I'll be your best friend!
People I say no to: (⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)
What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?
"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"
A man walks into a bar... and he never walks out.
Is your tap water running well?
Beta, go catch it!
Memes
I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."
Why do lions always lose at poker?
Because they always play against cheetahs.
What is the difference between an emo and a normal person?
An emo slits.
What are you doing, son? It has been an hour, and you are still in front of the mirror closing your eyes.
Mum, actually I want to see how I look while sleeping...
A: It’s very delicious! Great! Fantastic!
B: Thank you.
A: People don’t speak when they eat delicious foods!
Be nice.
When the emo kid looks at you and says, "Fuck you," run!
I walked up to 2 people kissing and stared.
After a little while, they asked me if I minded. I said no, I don’t mind.
Stop bullying.
Your mama is so stupid, Patrick Starr ran away because he thought she might be contagious.
How many emos does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they just sit and cry in the dark.
If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Mom: Don't forget to unload the dishwasher.
Mom: Did you finish your homework?
Mom: We are going to your grandmother's house for Thanksgiving.
Mom: Dad and I talked. We are getting a new car next month.
Son: You are?? Oh my gosh, thank you!
Mom: No, I was just making sure you were getting my texts.
Son: That was cruel!
"BlessedBrian must be a SMOKE DETECTOR... because he never fails to kill the vibe."
I'm what they call a ✨️askhole✨️.
A person who will consistently ask for your advice and wisdom, but then proceed to do the exact opposite of what you say.