Attraction jokes

A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."

Hey girl, are your pants a mirror? 'Cause I can see myself in them.

Feel my shirt...it's boyfriend material.

I was walking this hot girl home, then she noticed me, then the walk turned into a run.

Are you corona? Cuz it’s hard to breathe around you ;)

You're probably getting tired of these gravity jokes... but I keep falling for them every time.

An attractive man and a blonde meet in an elevator.

"Where are you heading today?" the man asks.

"I'm going down to give blood."

"How much do you get paid for giving blood?"

"About $30."

"Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100."

The woman, slightly annoyed, gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again.

"Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?"

"Sperm bank," she mumbles with her mouth full.

My doctor is a very attractive woman; gorgeous face, nice boobs, smoking hot body. She said to me, “You are in your 50’s now, you have GOT to stop masturbating.” I asked why. She replied, “Because I’m trying to examine you, ya’ pervert!!!”

Roses are red, violets are blue, I've got a bouquet in my pants for you.

I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away!

I asked the gym trainer what type of machine I should use to get the best looking women.

He said the ATM outside.

I rate you 9 out of 10, because I'm the 1 you need.

Roses are red, balls are round, skirts are up, panties are down, belly to belly, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in.

You look sexy with that rope around your neck.

Boobs are like batteries...

AA will get the job done...

C is bigger than AA...

D is bigger that C...

...and if they're square, you don't want to put your tongue on them!

Hey girl, are you a drill sergeant, because you have my privates' attention.

A man accidentally elbows a woman's boob as she is standing behind him in a hotel lobby. The man apologizes profusely and says, "If your heart is as soft as your breasts, I know you'll forgive me."

To which the woman replied, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 318."

I like dick.

There are 206 bones in my body.

When I look at you, it becomes 207.

If I told you, you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?