Attraction Jokes

I hit on the twin towers. they were hot

I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number. We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden

One time, I bought a magnet, my wife asked why I bought it. I said I couldn't help myself, I felt attracted to it.

What do you call a ride that drops 180 degrees?

Cold as hell

Let’s try and make this joke the most liked and commented on this website. (Ps, you made need to say it out loud to get it) I went to a zoo and there was no people and there was one dog. It was a shit-zoo.

My friend had this annoying little kid that always used to yell and scream when he didn't get what he wanted. I told me friend there's a new attraction a few states away he could take him too. Confused my friend asked me what it was. I told him "The Sandyhook Experience: Where you come in and leave with a 'hole' lot of fun."

What do women put on their ears to look more attractive? -- Their knees.

A man gets on a bus, and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no, and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun.

"Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to have sex with you."

The man decides to try it, and dresses up in his best God costume. At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her.

"Oh, God!" she exclaims. "Take me with you!" The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they're getting down to it, having nasty, grunty, loud sex. After it's over, the man pulls off his God disguise.

"Ha, ha! I'm the man from the bus!"

"Ha, ha!" says the nun, removing her costume. "I'm the bus driver!"

My doctor is a very attractive woman; gorgeous face, nice boobs, smoking hot body. She said to me, “You are in your 50’s now, you have GOT to stop masturbating.” I asked why. She replied, “Because I’m trying to examine you, ya’ pervert!!!”

Why did the policeman rape the woman? Because he thought rapists wouldn't be attracted to non-virgins

If I grew a nanometer taller for every 2/10 woman expecting a 6’3”+ guy, I would be considered attractive💀

When you’re trying to attract a partner, it’s important to project the qualities you desire. Shit, have I had to suck a lot of cock lately!?

My mom is a chemistry teacher. Mom: you can’t be attracted to something without it being attracted to you back Me: tell that to my FU*KING CRUSH B*TCH

Guy 2 whispering : oh i got tired of acting gay

Guy 1: i heard you, why are you acting gay ?

Guy 2: to attract gays and then give them an advice

Guy 1: so what's your advice to me ?

Guy 2: that i just know you're gay

LoL xD

What do you call a sexually attracted pizza who spoons another pizza?

A Topping.

why is the sun so attractive? because it is burning hot!

An attractive man and a blonde meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks. "I'm going down to give blood." "How much do you get paid for giving blood?" "About $30." "Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman slightly annoyed gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again. "Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?" "Sperm bank," she mumbles with her mouth full.