Attraction jokes
I carried a magnet, then people found me very attracting.
"If you can make them laugh and giggle, you can make their booty shake and jiggle."
Why do you want me?
Cus u like me...
What do you mean?
You love me.
No.
Look down.
What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?
Their knees.
I just did a test to see who my soulmate is, and it said "best friend." So I guess I am gay. I think so, WTF.
Man, I don’t need Viagra when I see Mara!
Why is it that skinny men love fat women?
Because we need warmth in the winter and shade in the summer.
But her ass was lookin' good all up in those mom jeans!
Do you have a sunburn, or are you just always this hot?
A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.
The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money... Then he married the one with the biggest breasts.
Why do terrorists like the Twin Towers?
It's the next thing they blow up.
You’re so fine that my zipper is falling for you.
Are you bisexual…
Or are you hellosexual?
I like men like I like money, always getting lost under my bed.
What would a man say to flirt with a woman that has a big butt?
You are so butty-ful!
You're so bent and ugly that you'd make Elton John go straight!
Man, my brother has a tight, buttered butthole. The veins in my cock throb when he comes over!
Hot man is sexy.
Kids are cute, not even joking. Wanking is easy around them.
Are your parents bakers? Because you're a cutie pie.
Are you a loan? Because you've got my interest.
Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout!
If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.
Are you an artist? Because you’re really good at drawing me in.
I believe in following my dreams. Can I have your Instagram?
If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple.
If you were a flower, you'd be a daaaaaamn-delion!