boss: you're fired
me: *turns in my gun and my badge*
boss: you're a waiter where did you get those
Hitler visits a lunatic asylum. The patients give the Hitler salute. As he passes down the line he comes across a woman who Isn't saluting. Why are you not saluting like the others? Hitler barks. "Mein Führer, Im the nurse," she responds "Im not crazy!
Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump and Angela Merkel are standing at the shore and are trying to impress each other with the accomplishments of their countries. Putin brags „We have nuclear submarines which can stay under water for six weeks without having to resurface!“. Trump goes on „Six weeks? That’s nothing. I have the best submarines, they‘re underwater für at least three months!“. Merkel is about to respond, when a giant steel colossus emerges from the sea. A hatch opens, a black uniform appears - „Heil Hitler! We need Diesel.“
Q: What do Mexicans love to wear in the air force? A: Air Force Juans
what did the policeman say to his belly button?
YOU'RE UNDER A VEST
she wears short skirts i wear t-shirts and we're both getting sent home from school because its distracting to boys apparently
Why does Hitler need glasses?
Because he could Nazi
I like my girlfriends new secondary school uniform, I guess, but doesn’t beat her old primary school one 😀
I joined the military for the group showers
When does a cub become a Boy Scout When he eats his first brownie
there's a kid with loads of new fire men equipment and sees a fire engine go past and the kids asks the firemen come have a look at my new gear so the fire men go look at his gear so then the kid says kid: I've got a helmet a big jacket and a oxygen tank and a little wheel barrow for my gear
firemen says: why is there a rope tied around a cat's balls the kid says so I can have a siren nnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
how does Hitler tie his shoes? into little Nazi's
what do cheetahs wear to work they can't change because cheetahs cant change there spots
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
