Attraction jokes
How do you get a country girl's attention? A tractor.
Why does the sun get a lot of girls? Because it's hot.
Damn bro, that calculator is looking hot today. It got abs!
Richard: Mom, someone called me gay.
Richard's mom: Why didn't you slap him across his face?
Richard: No, I couldn't.
Richard's mom: Why?
Richard: Because he was cute.
I wish you were a soap, because I want you all over me.
What does it mean if you can remember a girl's eye color?
She had small tits.
Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head.
Me: *sprays some perfume on myself*
Friend: Omg, that smells so good! You’re so aromatic, how do you not have a bf yet?
Me: ... I’m aromantic and aromatic. I do not desire romantic relationships with others although I do enjoy carrying lovely scents with me.
What has 2 arms, 2 legs, 2 eyes, 2 breasts for milking, and a hole to fill with my 9 inches?
A sexy female.
Why did the guy get the hose?
Because the girl was smoking hot.
A man gets on a bus and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun.
"Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to have sex with you."
The man decides to try it, and dresses up in his best God costume. At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her.
"Oh, God!" she exclaims. "Take me with you!" The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they're getting down to it, having nasty, grunty, loud sex. After it's over, the man pulls off his God disguise.
"Ha, ha! I'm the man from the bus!"
"Ha, ha!" says the nun, removing her costume. "I'm the bus driver!"
A guy ate your hairline because it reminded him of a McDonald's fry!
I rate you 9 out of 10, because I'm the 1 you need.
Rizz
Are you a basketball hoop? 'Cause I want to put my balls in you.
Are you a photo biographer? 'Cause I can picture us together.
Are you a waterfall?
'Cause I'm falling for you.
Why can't gay people have hairlines? Because it's not straight.
She had two gallons of milk, and I was starin' at her jugs.
I had sex with my dog once, and my cat hissed at me for not doing her.
Why did the oxygen molecules walk out of the singles bar with excitement?
Because she got Avogadro's number!
An attractive man and a blonde meet in an elevator.
"Where are you heading today?" the man asks.
"I'm going down to give blood."
"How much do you get paid for giving blood?"
"About $30."
"Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100."
The woman, slightly annoyed, gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again.
"Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?"
"Sperm bank," she mumbles with her mouth full.